Season 5 | Episode 11 | End of the Road

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SHOW NOTES
In this episode of The Turn On, Erica and Kenrya say goodbye. They still love y'all, though.

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TRANSCRIPT
Kenrya: Come here. Get off.

[theme music]

Erica: So, hey y'all, welcome to this week's episode of The Turn On. It has been a while, Killa.

Kenrya: Y’all don't know this unless you listen really, really closely, but we haven't actually recorded an episode since March?

Erica: March, April, it's been a minute, of 2022.

Kenrya: And it's August.

Erica: And, now it's August of 2022. So, it has been a long time coming. I had to dig hard in my box of stuff to find by mic and all of that, but-

Kenrya: My stuff scattered around because this little person is using it as their own personal ASMR situation.

Erica: Which you mentioned that.

Kenrya: [inaudible 00:00:54] bought this for, yes.

Erica: She's such a Gemini with all her various projects and ideas.

Kenrya: Really into ASMR.

Erica: So y'all, it's been a while, so here we are. I would say back for season five, season six, I would say-

Kenrya: This would be season six.

Erica: But, we're talking like this because we have a very... I don't want to say it was a difficult decision. It's a difficult announcement to make, but we have decided that this will be our last episode of The Turn On. Oh my God, even saying that out loud...

Kenrya: I know that's-

Erica: Brought feels to me.

Kenrya: It feels very real in this moment as we record this and say it.

Erica: So, we took a step back at the beginning of the year, like January, February, and actually I remember we were talking recently about something else and we were talking to a group of girlfriends, and I don't know who asked it, maybe it was me, it was like, "How are you feeling? We know you're dealing with your health issues," but it's a lot, and it's a lot mentally.

Erica: So, you're updating us on all the therapies and things you're doing, but I was like, "How are you feeling? Where's your head at?" And you were like, "I'm good now, things are getting better, but I was really low in January, February," which is when we decided to take a break and not really a break, but we were just, at that point, Kenrya was like, "I can't do this anymore," at the pace that we were doing it because it takes a lot to go into an episode. And, we are when I say a two man operation, legitimately a two and a half and the half is shout out to our editor Brandon that puts all the-

Kenrya: Hey, Brandon!

Erica: He does all the sound stuff, but it was a lot. So, we made a decision to... And, just interrupt me because I'm going to just keep talking. We made a decision at the time that we were going to take a break, and at the time the break looked like we would finish out the season-

Kenrya: Yes.

Erica: At the time we were like, "We'll finish out the season and just figure out what's next."

Kenrya: And, that was when we switched to episodes every other week, which I'm sure-

Erica: Well, initially you were just like, "I can't do this shit." And so then I was like, "Hey, how about we do an episode a week based on our schedule and running some quickies, that'll get us through September and then we'll get together at the beginning of August to reevaluate where we are and what's next." And, we had a whole plan for next season and all of that.

Kenrya: We did.

Erica: They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, it definitely wasn't that.

Kenrya: Well, and I remember that was kinda the idea. It was like, "We'll step back, we'll basically do everything that we need to do for the rest of the season now," and so the things would feel a little bit more automated. It did mean that some things, like social media posts, some of that stuff fell by the wayside because it was just like, "That stuff has to happen in the moment all the time, and no,” but it was like, "All right, so we'll take this break and either we'll be like, 'Oh my God, I'm so excited to have so many ideas and I'm ready to get started,' or it'll be like, 'Oh, it's been nice not having all these things on the plate.'" And, even before we had our official schedule call to talk about it, when we were talking about something else, and you were like, "I feel like we're on the same page." I'm like, "Yeah."

Erica: I truly thought that we were just going to take a beat and then come back and be excited about it, and I feel like it was a very specific point in our lives. Now-

Kenrya: I wasn't sure how I was going to shake out. I really felt like it could go either way, but I do want to say, for me the decision, it's not based on my health. It's not-

Erica: No, not at all.

Kenrya: It feels like... It's not even-

Erica: Well, not for me, but-

Kenrya: It's because I really try to live into the things that I talk about and I talk so much about, “What makes you joyful? What do you look forward to doing every day?” And, what I started to realize is that I used to look forward to Tuesdays. Tuesdays was a day when I said, "Fuck everything else." I didn't do anything for any of my clients. I just worked on show stuff, and I was always really energized by that, and it started to flip for me where it started to feel like work as opposed to fun. And, when I get to the point in anything where the joy to burden balance feels off, then that's when I have to do an evaluation of, "What am I doing?" And, I will say insofar as being ill has made... Because it has decreased the number of literal hours that I have in a day to function, it did really force me.

Kenrya: But, I also do this quarterly. I have that whole joy spreadsheet and I go through and I list everything that I do and I rank it, and then if stuff starts to fall to the bottom of the ranking, what do I do? I stop doing it. But I think that being ill made me be even more focused on my spreadsheet and making sure that I wasn't putting energy into stuff that felt that way, and unfortunately as much as I very much love this show and very much love you and very much love Black romance and all the wonderful people that we've gotten to bring on the show and all the work that we've gotten to share with folks, the balance just started to shift for me.

Erica: Similar, it started feeling like a slog, and I have been saying a lot lately that I follow the joy. I'm not as much of a spreadsheet gal when it comes to that.

Kenrya: It's my Virgo moon. I get it.

Erica: It totally is. I haven't been quite spreadsheet-y about it, but I have been very clear about the fact that I am in a really good place to be able to say, "I want to do this because this feels good," down to jobs I pick, which let's take a step back, that is fucking profound. My granny was the goddamn domestic and she used to clean white people's houses. My mama hated her fucking job, but would fucking cry, probably lose her shit if she lost it, and I get to sit back on my Black ass and be like, "I don't want to do that." And so for me, just in honor of all of that, I'm not going to do anything that feels like a slog, and I'll be very honest. We're all aware of what's going on in the general Black podcasting space, in the various podcasters, and relationships that have publicly, or I hear in the background are falling apart.

Kenrya: Oh no, who do you know about in the background?

Erica: We'll talk offline.

Kenrya: Damn it, I hate to hear that.

Erica: And, I don't want that to happen, particularly as you were dealing with all the health things that you're dealing with, I want to make sure that our relationship is strong and stable and all of that, so if that meant-

Kenrya: Ain't nobody trying to be... Actually I don't want to say names.

Erica: No, but if that meant that bitch... All right, I'll see you every six months, but I want our relationship to be strong and solid and healthy. And, I don't want anything to get in that, and when this starts feeling like a slog, it's going to automatically be like-

Kenrya: I know.

Erica: It's just going to fuck up our relationship.

Kenrya: I didn't want it to be a slog for us to get on fucking video and talk.

Erica: And coon, right?

Kenrya: Right, the whole point is that that shit is fun as hell.

Erica: Exactly, and so for me it was really... It stopped feeling as fun as it was. It started feeling like, "Oh my God, I have to do this," as opposed to, "Oh my God, I get to do-"

Kenrya: “I get to do this.”

Erica: Yeah, and I don't want to fuck up our relationship because we're forcing something that our heads are no longer into, so that's where we are.

Kenrya: That's where we are. I was listening to The Read now that they're back. Thank God, I'm so glad you told me when I had to go-

Erica: I swear you knew. I'm so sorry.

Kenrya: I did not know, and it came out on Friday. I'm like, "I'm days late."

Erica: Here's the thing.

Kenrya: What?

Erica: Kenrya and I... Now, a huge part of our conversations and all of that takes place in the form of memes, TikToks, Twitter DMs, and occasionally I see things I'm like, "Oh, she's seen this a million times. Let me not bother her with this," and so I didn't.

Kenrya: No.

Erica: One time, sorry.

Kenrya: Yeah, it's fine. I had to go pick up some grocery, shout out to Target Drive Up-

Erica: Girl, yes.

Kenrya: It's everything for me since I can't go in grocery stores without falling out, and so I was listening to it, and I had just come from PT and all I wanted to do was lay down, but I was like, "If I don't go pick up these groceries, then I'm not going to be able to sleep well because then I'm going to be thinking about I got to go to fucking Target and get these groceries," but it was worth it because I started listening to the episode. But at the beginning, the point of me saying this is that when they started, Kid Fury was like, "Friend, how are you? Let's go back to the days when we used to actually talk, and not just have to jump into the show." And I was just like, "Once this just all business-y, all of that stuff gets missed."

Erica: And, we were definitely trying to be conscious of that. I think we lost that towards the end, but definitely trying to be-

Kenrya: We were definitely trying to fucking crank these out, so we could take a break.

Erica: Yeah-

Kenrya: I don't want to feel that way.

Erica: Because I remember at periods being like, "I'm going to call you and we not talk..." Even if I had a million to do, I'm like, "We're not talking about the show."

Kenrya: Exactly.

Erica: Catch up, but this was joyful while it lasted, even being here. I was in bed the other day because legit, when I am in bed watching TikToks, laughing and sending them to you, nigga, you are right next to me laughing. I hear your laugh, it's the craziest shit. And so I was like, "Damn, I need to call Kenrya, and we need to just act the fool on the phone." And I was like, "Wait, we get to be there on Wednesday." Today is Wednesday.

Kenrya: Wednesday. We also got to sit on the porch for an hour yesterday, which was nice.

Erica: Which was nice, it was good.

Kenrya: I didn't do a lick of fucking work.

Erica: Not a lick, but it was time well spent. So side note, love that lipstick, that's a great one.

Kenrya: You bought me this lipstick.

Erica: Mm-hmm, I sure did.

Kenrya: For my birthday. It's one of the little ones y’all got me in my fanny pack last year.

Erica: So, one of the things we were doing in the pandemic pit is we were celebrating each other's birthdays outside and around the fire pit. I have a fire pit and we have a really nice porch, and so we would do outside, birthday celebrations, and I want to say 2021 birthdays we were doing little themed gift bags. We were doing themed gift bags and Kenrya's theme that year were fanny packs and lipsticks.

Kenrya: And Black people because everybody had to wear black cause, niggas and we all had chicken, right?

Erica: We had hip hop. Was it hip hop?

Kenrya: It was hip hop, yeah.

Erica: And, then this year I was very proud of this year's birthday. We were trying to do something really cool, and so we did a “Steven Universe” party, but it wasn't just a regular “Steven Universe” party.

Kenrya: It was cosplay.

Erica: We cosplayed, I had on a wig. We were in outfits. It was some legit, for real.

Kenrya: She was Pearl for those who watch the show.

Erica: I didn't know who Pearl was, but we were definitely like-

Kenrya: Kenrya's Universe, and they got me a little curly wig. My hair was in braids at the time.

Erica: So, it was braids out the back.

Kenrya: Yes.

Erica: Pigtails.

Kenrya: That was really nice. The moment that I realized what the fuck was happening, I was just like, "Oh my God, these bitches are really dressed like Steven Universe characters."

Erica: Mind you, none of us know what the fuck's happenin,g except for Kenrya.

Kenrya: Y’all did not. So, then I was explaining the show and cats was like, "Oh, I should actually watch that." Yeah.

Erica: Legit, we were just researching characters-

Kenrya: You didn't know what to think.

Erica: Research the character, we're going to do this shit, but anything for our Killa. So, how about I ask you a question? You probably got some profound questions, but when you are 50 years old... I'm saying this like we're 20, and we're looking back 30 years. We're literally looking back like nine years. So, when you're 100 years old and you look back on the period in your life that you produced The Turn On, what will you say about it and what stood out? What was special about it?

Kenrya: I guess I always have random ideas. There's something really satisfying about having a random fucking idea, in this case while I'm masturbating and then turning it into a whole thing. I'm really proud of that. We were like, "We're going to start a podcast." "What's it going to be about?" "Well, I had this random ass idea,” “Bet...." And, then we just did it, and I'm always amazed when things like that...

Kenrya: When I finish writing a book and it's here, it always feels a little bit like magic even though I know the immense amount of work that goes into it, there's still something about going from a random ass idea to a tangible thing that other people get to enjoy. I never really thought about it this way, but my partner is in wonder of those things because he's like, "Yo, this is a legacy." I hadn't really thought about it that way. He's like, "These are the things that you will leave behind that will outlast you that somebody at some point can listen to a show, can look at a YouTube video, can pick up a book that you wrote well after you've left this earth and you contributed," that is really fucking cool to me. What about you?

Erica: So, one thing that stands out is when we were trying for that Google podcast thing and we recorded upstairs in your kitchen-

Kenrya: Under the table.

Erica: Under a table that was-

Kenrya: With a blanket draped around it.

Erica: Bitch, we was in that bitch sweating like-

Kenrya: Sweating, oh my God.

Erica: So, that was cool because I think it was just the first step and it showed how dedicated we were to just making this thing happen.

Kenrya: We didn't know shit.

Erica: We didn't know shit, and also remember initially we were really on some over engineering this shit. We definitely was making it too difficult.

Kenrya: Too hard.

Erica: And, I feel you on your partner's thing saying with the legacy. For me, I got to do a really cool thing with my best friend and it was fun. Bitch, Oprah herself called us and said, "Hey, you're an amazing podcast."

Kenrya: That is kinda true, y’all. We did get featured on Oprah Daily.

Erica: So, just the fact that we were able to do this really dope and amazing thing that also chronicled... So, we launched this in July of 2019, so we went through the pandemic through this.

Kenrya: It was 2019 because we started in November of 2018 figuring it out, right?

Erica: Yeah, but our first episode launched in July of 2019 and-

Kenrya: A lot of shit happened, not even just worldwide, but personally.

Erica: We launched the day before my granny's funeral.

Kenrya: Fuck.

Erica: We chronicled you falling in love.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: We chronicled me fighting cancer, we chronicled you dealing with ME. It's been amazing in that sense to have that diary because I journal, but... So when I die, I need to actually set you up on my Facebook. When I die, I have a bunch of journals. So, y’all are going to have to pay an intern to piece everything together because everything is just all over the place. But, this period has been cataloged oh so well, and it's just like-

Kenrya: I don't journal shit.

Erica: What'd you say?

Kenrya: I don't journal shit.

Erica: You-

Kenrya: It feels like work, or I remember our therapist used to try to make me journal and every week I'd be like, "No, I didn't do that." She was like, "You know what, this feels like work to you, doesn't it?" I was like, "That's exactly it," so we dropped journaling, but I'm really glad it works as a tool for you. I think it's so useful for so many people.

Erica: I journal, I write, a lot of times it's not even being able to go back and reference, it's just to get it out. So my notes app, I have conversations with myself. I have a bunch of different journals, so it's really cool to have this period of my life recorded. I feel like when they're going back and doing the World War Z history of life in the pandemic, they can reference this show and-

Kenrya: Find out what sex was like for Black folks.

Erica: Yeah, so this has been really dope. Also, without this show I wouldn't be here doing this shit I'm doing with a pussy in the background. If you're all on YouTube, that thing right there. Ooh, my nails match it perfectly.

Kenrya: They do.

Erica: Pussy puppet because this show made me realize that I want to become a sex educator and do sex education, and so it's very clear that y’all are going to keep hearing me talking about not only the joys of sex because one of the things that I'm working on right now is figuring out what the larger thing looks like for me, and this show has not only put a box or put it on paper, my desire to be a sex educator, but also helped me connect that it's just so much bigger than sex. It's about liberating Black women and Black bodies and joy and all of that, and sex is a piece of it, and sex is an easy way to show it, demonstrate it, use it as an example, but it's bigger than that. And so, this show allowed me to do that, and so it's super special.

Kenrya: Word, I am going to ask before we go, what are you working on and what's next, but before that, which that ties into what you just said, what did you learn about yourself while working on this?

Erica: Ooh, I learned vulnerability and it was something that I knew I needed to work on. Actually, I just did an Enneagram thing. I think I told you about this.

Kenrya: Mm-mm.

Erica: I did an Enneagram.

Kenrya: Did you buy one for free? Because that shit is expensive.

Erica: Actually, I have a girlfriend that's going to do a happy hour with us on our Enneagram types. We'll talk about it offline, but she taught it and I was just like, "Bitch, you're coming to talk to me and my girlfriends." And she was like, "I'd love to," but anyway, and so I'm an Enneagram eight and eights are a lot, eights are a motherfucker.

Kenrya: So, eights are Geminis.

Erica: Huh?

Kenrya: So eights are Geminis?

Erica: And so, I found this podcast and this guy was talking about the eights, and one of the things that he said was that eights struggle with being vulnerable and want to... The balm for their soul is, “It is okay, you're going to be okay,” and I knew that I needed to work on my vulnerability, and one of my superpowers as an eight is being vulnerable in spite of this big personality and this big person that I am. It helps me be a better leader because people are able to look at me and be like, "Wow, this bitch is a lot, but at the same time she can be vulnerable."

Erica: So, I always knew that, but this show was really that in action because I got on here to talk... We have conversations, but there were points where I had to figure shit out live in front of y’all, and reveal things about myself and talk about myself. And so it's actually interesting, I was talking to someone, having a hot flash, talking to someone recently and he asked me about something and I was like, "I'll be honest, I'm jealous." And I was like, "But, I recognize that I'm jealous. I'm digging into why I'm jealous. I'm not over here like a hating ass bitch," and so I'm digging into it. And he was like, "Damn, that's mad self-aware and I would've never thought anyone to admit they're jealous, let alone you." And I'm like, "Bro, this makes the learning curve so much faster, so much shorter and the fall so much softer." So, I think I'm able to practice vulnerability a lot more and see the value in that with people. What about you?

Kenrya: So, I'm with you on the vulnerability thing. I think this allowed me to practice it in a really real way. It's not a thing that comes naturally to me at all, but a lot of my therapy focused on being able to do it. I remember when I would have to tell you really awful stories of things that had happened to me and how I would sit there with a stone face and your ass would be... And, that's just me.

Erica: What happened? You're like, "Okay."

Kenrya: But, I think I for so many years lived my life in such a way that I was trying to not be judged. I worried so much, my younger self, about what other people thought about me, so much, and to the point where I wouldn't do certain things because I was worried about judgment and a lot of my issues with vulnerability stem from me not wanting people to be able to see the underbelly, the really tough, traumatic parts of my life. People who I was closest to who knew nothing about the way I grew up, who knew nothing about the impact of the relationships that I'd been in... And, I was just talking about this with somebody.

Kenrya: I remember our therapist telling me at some point, this was when I had gone through my work and I was starting a date again, she was like... I was talking about, how do I hold myself accountable? And she was like, "Well, part of it is letting your people hold you accountable. At the point that you feel like you have to hide things, then you know that there's something going on." At that point, your gut is telling you that some shit is fucked up, and if you're trying to hide it, you're not telling the people who you trust, then you're reverting back to your behavior of hiding things because you're worried about being judged, as opposed to letting the people who care about you in, so that they can help you. That really resonated with me and really sat with me, and again, I just told somebody that yesterday because they were hiding. And I think that this show let me... I couldn't hide, not and do it well.

Erica: Mm-mm.

Kenrya: People can smell bullshit. If you're giving a piece of the story, nobody can really connect with that. And so, I think it forced me to practice that very much so in the same vein as you. And I think the other thing it made me realize, I'm not as straight as I thought I was. I think that if someone had asked me where I was on a Kinsey scale and I don't even know where the numbers go, I'm sure you know better than I do, but I would've said I was on all the way on the straight end of things. Now-

Erica: I literally have Kinsey's books behind me and no idea. “Sexual Behavior in the Human Male” and no idea what the fuck the scale is.

Kenrya: I watched a whole show about it, I don't remember, but I think I thought that I was straighter on the scale than I actually am, and I think doing this show... And, it's actually one of the things that I hope is part of our legacy is that people were able to open their minds more to what it is that they want and need and who they're attracted to.

Erica: Something else that I learned about this show is... Well, this show taught me is don't be afraid to pop your shit. We celebrate ourselves, we celebrate one another, and maybe this is also because this show was during the pandemic, a good chunk of it. And, it made me be able to revel in just the simple shit, like a beautiful day with no humidity, just stupid, simple shit. It allowed me to celebrate myself, the people around me, the things in this world. Actually, before this, I was on a work call and I was talking to this woman. I'm like, "Your organization has an amazing culture of celebrating one another. There's an entire Slack channel that's team shout-outs." And it's just, "Shout out to so-and-so for running a great group," and it's beautiful to see that.

Kenrya: That's how my job is too, it's so nice. I never worked at a place where, oh yeah, y’all got a job. That happened.

Erica: And, you love it.

Kenrya: I do, which I can't say that I've ever actually said before, at least not for long. I was a consultant and as always happens, and you know this too, when you do a great job as a consultant, they start wanting you to come on board, but for once I actually was like, "Okay, I like y’all." But, they have a huge culture of celebration and we do shout outs and I've been shouted out a lot and it feels good. I'm like, "Aw, that's nice."

Erica: So this particular organization, it's a very small team and I'm like the old lady. Come sit at my knee, little folks. But, it's great to see that, and I think it makes everyone very supportive and willing to jump out there and try some risky shit because, “I built up enough chips on good shit. If this fails, y’all know I'm not horrible.”

Kenrya: Right.

Erica: But all in all, this has been a wild ride, but fucking amazing. I love this. I love that we are making a decision, a solid, firm... This is what's happening. As always, I love you. I love that we were able to do this together. So, what's next for you, Killa? I beat you to it.

Kenrya: You did, although I thought we were supposed to talk about our favorite moments of the show before we-

Erica: Ooh, I did not prepare. I did not prepare, but we can.

Kenrya: I just did right before because I was telling somebody about the show and I was like, "I'm recording the last episode of my show." And she was like, "Who are you?" I was like, "Oh, yeah." Everybody at my job knows about the show, and I'm always like, "Have y’all listened? Because y’all be talking about this shit all the time." I'm telling folks, "Maybe you want to listen before you recommend it."

Erica: I say that all the time. I'll be like, "We're a lot. You think I'm a lot now in this meeting, wait ‘til I'm talking about popping that pussy."

Kenrya: I'm like, "Yeah, I'm always this person, but the language changes a little bit."

Erica: Mine does. I don't say pussy in meetings.

Kenrya: Only in that I don't say nigga at work.

Erica: I don't say nigga and pussy in meetings. Other than that, you're getting all of this.

Kenrya: It's the same person, this is true.

Erica: So, what are your favorite moments?

Kenrya: So I-

Erica: I'm definitely went back to the Forever Agenda and do not remember seeing that, so we probably talked about it, but just didn't record it.

Kenrya: It's there, I even made it bold to remind us when I went back and made sure I did it.

Erica: Keep going and I'll think.

Kenrya: No, because I was showing somebody about the show and they was like, "What platform are you on?" When they heard they told me, and I was like, "Oh that," and then I just started scrolling through, what do I like? So, this is in no particular order. It's literally just the random shit that I screenshot as I was scrolling through this app. The Casting Couch Double Dippin’. Well, the casting couch episode, which we just did again as a Double Dippin’ really and truly is one of my favorites. It is us at our-

Erica: Peak.

Kenrya: Boo, I'm sorry, at our coon.

Erica: Cooniness.

Kenrya: [inaudible 00:36:40].

Erica: Pure ignorance.

Kenrya: [inaudible 00:36:45].

Erica: Fresh from the tap.

Kenrya: My God, I don't know what the fuck. We were not drunk, we were not high. We were just... What did Beyoncé say? "I don't need drugs to be on some freak shit." We were just on one that day, and it was beautiful. I really enjoyed it. Also, I really enjoyed the conversation we had with Benji Hart.

Erica: We got to meet some really, really dope people. First, shout out to cousins of the show, y’all know who you are.

Kenrya: I'm getting to them.

Erica: I actually feel like we might have to call a few cousins and...

Kenrya: I'm already planning to talk to one of them, yep.

Erica: So-

Kenrya: I've been saying we need to catch up anyway, so I'm going and break it to them before they hear this episode, but that conversation was great, but also y’all obviously get to see all the stuff every time we have to pause it because I'm like... In that conversation, my food was here, so then we had to-

Erica: I remember recording it in bed.

Kenrya: Hold for like 15 minutes. I always record in bed, but yeah-

Erica: We lost audio. Was this where the audio wasn't synced?

Kenrya: No, not with Benji, I don't think so, but I remember that I had to go get my food and that was a whole ordeal. And so, y’all was just chopping it up. We just have fun.

Erica: And the way his brain works, I apologize. The way their brain works is just... That was one of those episodes where it was like, "Goddamn, you're smart as fuck."

Kenrya: Yes, so much.

Erica: Smart, but just-

Kenrya: Down to earth, the homie, yes, it was just a great situation. Both times that we had Jodie on. I feel like the episodes where I can remember everything about the recording and all the shit that y’all didn't get to hear-

Erica: Because at first Jodie, when I was like, "We're supposed to meet now? I'm in the car. My GPS has me there two minutes before the 30."

Kenrya: Listen, but we had so... That gave us time to coon before we even started. Both times that Jodie was on stand out. Both times stand out-

Erica: Cousin.

Kenrya: Cousin. Listen, now we can say who the cousins are. It's Jodie and Sheree.

Erica: Yep, cousins.

Kenrya: Hey, y’all.

Erica: Benji also, I don't know if they know that, but-

Kenrya: I consider Benji a cousin [inaudible 00:39:28].

Erica: Benji, you owe me macaroni and cheese. We had a conversation. You promised that.

Kenrya: I am just guessing that they haven't been here.

Erica: We got to meet folks in person.

Kenrya: We got to hang out with folks, have meals. It's been a blessing. I don't know, I feel like my favorite episodes are the ones where we talk about... Where it's just me and you, but also the experiences of the interviews also really rank high for me just because we've gotten to meet some really, really, really dope folks. What else do I have here? Oh, adrienne maree brown.

Erica: Yes.

Kenrya: Having her on was amazing and something that we had literally been trying to make happen for more than a year.

Erica: Actually, when you think about it, everyone that was on our we have to talk to this person list, we were able to talk to. I'm looking through right now. There was somebody that I just looked over. I was like, "Ooh, they were fun."

Kenrya: [inaudible 00:40:37].

Erica: Mahogany Browne.

Kenrya: I had to do that one in the fucking hallway on the floor.

Erica: Mahogany Browne was like... So, y’all know Kenrya's the brains, I'm the nig of the operation. And so I'm like, "Let's talk sex. Who fucking? Where is it going?" And Kenrya's like, "Let's find, let's think." And so, we had Mo Browne on when we did “The Works of Pat Parker” and Mo Browne is a beautiful writer and just-

Kenrya: Person.

Erica: I gained an appreciation for the way people think, and I became a sapiosexual, no, but I'm able to look at people and hear their words and the way they think and it's just like, "Oh my God, if I could wrap myself in the words you write, it would just be, 'Am I fucking saying that? It came out of my mouth?'"

Kenrya: Me too, bitch.

Erica: Sorry, keep going.

Kenrya: Tia, I loved having Tia on. That was the was lovely. The conversation was great, her book was fucking amazing. Ooh, the episode we did with Boonie.

Erica: Yes.

Kenrya: That was, my God.

Erica: She's fun. Any episode we do with Quinn is just-

Kenrya: Special.

Erica: Very special. I appreciate y’all for... Thank you to our listeners for listening to me sing.

Kenrya: A lot.

Erica: Because guess what? Close your eyes, make a wish. And turn out the candlelight. [singing] Wait, no. Although we’ve come to the end of the road! [singing] Yeah, I think those are two different songs, but that's what I was thinking today. I was like, "I'm going to sing ‘End of the Road.’"

Kenrya: I was literally thinking, "Oh, that's probably going to be the name of this episode," but then I was like, "Is there a Beyoncé song that we can make?" Because, have we ever used a Beyoncé song as a title?

Erica: Yeah, “Partition.”

Kenrya: Oh, absolutely.

Erica: What song is that, “Close your eyes, make a wish”?

Kenrya: I'm singing in my head.

Erica: “I'll Make Love To You.”

Kenrya: I'm going through the whole fucking first verse.

Erica: So, definitely the wrong song, but it's all good. We got to interview some of our friends and see them in different ways because have a homie and you talk to them a million times, but to ask them specific-

Kenrya: Professional shit.

Erica: Poignant questions about your sex life, who you fucking, how you fucking, and not over some drinks and recap at brunch, that was dope.

Kenrya: Also having them in on as professional people and talking about the shit that they do. It's like, "Oh yeah, you are impressive."

Erica: “You do know what you're talking about.”

Kenrya: Yes.

Erica: Shout out to Trystan Cotten.

Kenrya: Yes.

Erica: We got to meet him in person.

Kenrya: That was such a fun day.

Erica: Oh Trystan, my dog passed away. He loved my dog.

Kenrya: He did, and he loved him.

Erica: I know. I'm like, "But, you're my dog."

Kenrya: But, he was definitely trying to take him home.

Erica: I feel like I've learned... This was dope.

Kenrya: It's been dope. We learned a lot, we got to meet a lot of people. You know what else that I learned on this show? And, I was talking about this when we were doing a Double Dippin’ on the Leone episode, how far we've come in terms of language, being inclusive, and always using the equity lens and making sure we're inviting folks into the conversation. That's something that I have obviously been writing about and has been important in my writing, but I don't know, there's something different about speaking it and also about living it in action and the folks that you bring on the show and the works that you cover, and we were very intentional about making sure that it wasn't just a bunch of straight-

Erica: We was like, "This season is too straight."

Kenrya: Literally, we were like, "This shit is real straight. We need to bring some more..." And, we would move stuff to another season in order to make sure that there was representation and that has been super important to us, and then along with that, that means we've had hella queer folks on a show as guests or whatever, and that's been really important to us to be super intentional about everybody ain't the same, and we're all Black. So, how do we make sure that we all are under this umbrella?

Erica: Mm-hmm.

Kenrya: That's been really important and feels like a really important part of the legacy of this show.

Erica: The legacy of The Turn On.

Kenrya: Aw, now this is feeling self-important.

Erica: And, this is what we did.

Kenrya: We had fun. Hopefully, y’all had fun too.

Erica: Hopefully, y’all had fun, and this will not be the last of us. We both have projects, things happening. We will continue to stay active on our social media accounts, probably more active than we have been, to be quite honest.

Kenrya: And, that'll be the only thing to do.

Erica: Instead of, let me talk about it, let me tweet about it.

Kenrya: So, none of that's going away. Y’all can continue to follow us and we'll also use the channels to lift up the other things that we're doing, since we're not disappearing. What are you doing? What are you working on?

Erica: Ooh, girl, I don't know. So, work is amazing. In the good words of our good girlfriend GloRilla, "Anyway, life's perfect, pussy's good." I don't know if that's exactly how she said it, but-

Kenrya: I don't even know.

Erica: See, I keep you on top with pop culture and we've had a whole summer, anyway-

Kenrya: But, the only thing I am listening to or caring about is “Renaissance.” I really don't-

Erica: I know, but before “Renaissance” came-

Kenrya: And I feel bad because I need to listen to Meg's album, but-

Erica: I know, I've listened to it.

Kenrya: I'm trying to listen to other shit and I can't.

Erica: Meg got this line in her song “Not Nice,” and it was like, "I'm ignoring you like your daddy did."

Kenrya: God, nigga. I feel bad and my daddy didn't ignore me. Spicy, got damn.

Erica: So, what's next for me? So I am in this weird place... Not weird, but I'm at this point where I am trying to figure out what my sex education empire looks like. I spent a really long time listening to my brother start the motherfucking microwave. You can barely hear it, so we'll just keep going. Y'all know I quit my job last year and I have been in the throes of building my own consulting business, which has been great, but now that I have that piece established and going and I've got clients, every time I pay my rent I'm like, "Bitch, you paid your rent this month." It's just amazing to me, but now I need to figure out what it looks like, what my work as a sex educator looks like.

Erica: And I'm wondering, is that podcasting, radio, YouTubing, conferences, stuff in person? There's just so much to do, and I have a million ideas floating around. I have someone that's a brand strategist that I will probably be working with. It is a huge investment, but she's good at what she does, but anyway, so I have to figure that out. But in the interim, I've taken the stance of I am simply just chasing joy. If it feels good, I am doing it, that's what I do. And, I feel like in that process, as I flit around from flower to flower, getting nectar, putting some pollen on my ass...I'm a bee.

Kenrya: We got it, we got it now.

Erica: It'll make itself apparent, and I'm not so... Because I have the work shit taken care of, I'm not super pressed about what's next or what things look like. I get pressed when I see other people doing shit and I'm like, "Ooh, I could have totally been doing this shit," when those jealousy pangs hit, but at the same time, I am just really enjoying the fact that I'm in a place where I'm happy. I'm happy, things are good, and so hitting some conferences, I have some work with Planned Parenthood. I'll probably do some IG lives. There's nothing completely super structured, but I promise I'll definitely be out here spreading the gospel of good pussy and joy, but past that, I'm not quite sure and I'm not saying for the first time in my life because I've actually been here a lot more. Even as I talk about, I've been here in a place like this a lot more and I'm comfortable in not knowing. I'm comfortable in like, "We'll see, it'll pan out." And so, I'll keep y’all posted. What were you going to say?

Kenrya: I said it always does.

Erica: Yep, so what about you?

Kenrya: What am I doing? I am very slowly writing my book about Black women and nonbinary folks—or folks who are of marginalized gender—and the ways that misogynoir got us fucked up, the ways that it threatens our health and the ways that we save ourselves since nobody else is interested. Oh, I have been promoting that book.

Erica: I didn't want to interrupt you, but I keep this next to my desk, and every time I have a meeting, I'm like, "Hey, guys, this is a really amazing book."

Kenrya: Thank you. So, I last year worked on this book with W. Kamau Bell and Kate Schatz. It was one of these situations, and I was thinking about this when you were talking about your brand presence, I got that gig because they were looking for somebody who knows anti-racism and is a Black woman and brings that lens to the work, and they found me on a site and then they went to my site and were impressed and they reached out and then I was working with them. And, that book is a New York Times bestseller. I was the editorial consultant on that book. They will tell anybody that it wouldn't have happened the way that it happened if it weren't for me, which is pretty cool. And so, I did one event with them and I'm not doing any more events until my book comes out, but it was really nice and they were great to work with.

Kenrya: It was a good experience, but I can't do shit else until I finish my own book. I'm not editing anyone else's books. I am just very, very slowly writing my own. I am still working with consulting clients on things that are not as involved as editing books, like sensitivity reads, and that kind of shit because that's easy and quick. My day job, I actually really love the work that I'm doing. I'm looking at the places where the harms of artificial intelligence, AI, intersect with the rest of our lives. So, it makes people's eyes go big, but it's not that complicated.

Erica: I have a client that was working with someone, so they probably have some overlap.

Kenrya: AI impacts us in so many ways that we may not even be-

Erica: That fucking coon ass rapper.

Kenrya: Rapper, exactly, or I just sent my team an article about this fucking app that some white people created that makes customer service people's voices sound whiter, God. My team does research for a very, very large global organization that looks at... And, the work that I am leading is around movement building and around how we can empower... Not, “empower,” I hate that word, how we can partner with folks in very disparate movements, whose goals interact with ours, as people who want to make AI as transparent as possible, so that they can do as little harm as possible because the reality is the folks who have the least amount of input into the way that these algorithms are deployed are the folks who are most impacted by them. And so, it's been really cool to advance my knowledge in the tech space, alongside what I already know about social movements, and the ways that they impact people and the ways that we can come together as collectives and collaboratively move us all closer to freedom. So, it's been really cool. Damn, I'm a nerd.

Erica: Are we just now noticing that?

Kenrya: Sometimes I hear myself speak and I'm like, "Damn, bitch, you are a nerd."

Erica: It's okay.

Kenrya: Whatever, and then something that y’all might actually be interested in, I am recording audio books for one of your faves. I can't drop the name now, but it's someone who's been on this show. And so, eventually y’all will hear my voice recording Black erotica, not just for this show, but whole ass books, which is pretty cool. I'm excited about it.

Erica: Pretty fucking dope.

Kenrya: So, hopefully that'll be a thing that just keeps happening and eventually y’all won't be able to escape me. When you want to listen to Black erotica, I'll be right there. That's what's next. It's a lot of shit.

Erica: Lots of shit.

Kenrya: And, naps.

Erica: Naps, little kisses from God.

Kenrya: God, listen, I love my naps. They make me happy. I want to take one now.

Erica: You're wistfully staring off about naps.

Kenrya: Because I really want to take a nap, but I can't because I got to take this kid to get her hair braided before school starts.

Erica: Well, with that said, I think that's it.

Kenrya: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, before we go, there's something that I was hoping you were going to say at the beginning of the episode that you didn't say.

Erica: Get your wine, whatever you need?

Kenrya: Yes, ma'am. I feel like we can't have a final episode without you saying-

Erica: Get your wine, whatever you need? [singing]

Kenrya: That was a twofer, they got to hear you sing.

Erica: And, I got it.

Kenrya: Yes.

Erica: This is Erica and Kenrya, your two favorite hoes. We will perpetually-

Kenrya: We got to make it clap.

Erica: We will perpetually, always be making it clap. Bitch, really?

Kenrya: Off as always.

Erica: Off. Off.

Erica: All right y’all, this has been great. For real, I love y'all.

Kenrya: We love y'all. Thank you for coming on this weird ass journey with us, for listening all the time, for downloading this fucking stuff, for sharing it on social media, for buying Black books.

Erica: Yes.

Kenrya: Supporting these authors who are so dope, don't let this show not being here keep y’all from going out and connecting with these authors and their books.

Erica: Buy them from small bookstores, yes.

Kenrya: Black bookstores if at all possible. You can even get them online via Bookshop and have your money go directly to Black bookstores around the country, so do that please.

Erica: Well, it's been real.

Kenrya: It has. Thank y’all. Thank you, E.

Erica: Bitch, thank you. Thank you, this has been great. Peace out.

Kenrya: Bye.