Quickie 24 | Storytime: One Night Stands

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SHOW NOTES
In this episode of The Turn On, Erica and Kenrya talk about the pleasures and challenges of one night stands.

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TRANSCRIPT
Kenrya: Come here. Get off.

[theme music]

Erica: Hey, y'all.

Kenrya: Hey folks.

Erica: We are here. We are here to tickle your fancy. Tickle your nipples, your titillations. Not everybody got nipples, I'm learning. Actually, side note. When you get a mastectomy, a big thing is whether or not you get to keep your nipples. And I was like, I want my nipples. Please let me keep my nipples. I love my nipples. Love my areolas. They're big, mammy areolas.

Erica: Now that I got them, they are aggressive as fuck. Like I really wouldn't have to wear a bra if it weren't for these nipples that are like, "Nigga, I'm here."

Kenrya: They are constantly on.

Erica: "We made it. I am here. Look at me, look at me. How are you? Look at me?" This is like, "God damn." So, you know, I guess, you know.

Kenrya: Well can't you just wear those little nipple cover things? Do you have to wear a whole ass bra?

Erica: I do. Oh, that's what I do.

Kenrya: I mean, also, your nipples can just do what they want. Who says they have to be covered?

Erica: They are distracting. No, I mean like in most situations I wouldn't, but like I got to wear them at work because I just ... They're fucking distracting. They look good, but they're distracting. So yeah. I'm not sure how we got on nipples, but we are here to do what ... Have a little story time.

Kenrya: Yes, time for some stories.

Erica: Gather around the fire. The fire that's being stoked with the tears and pages from hotep books or burning hoteps, we burning ashy niggas. I don't know. Anyway.

Kenrya: I don't think that tears can stoke a fire though. You probably have the opposite of that.

Erica: Hotep tears would because they're ashy.

Kenrya: Okay.

Erica: Anyway, so we-

Kenrya: That's reasonable.

Erica: We're going to have a story about what?

Kenrya: One night stands.

Erica: One night stands. There's a Jazmine Sullivan song, but it takes a lot to get to the part where she says (singing). I don't know if it's just but anyway. I don't want to sing the whole song because I don't know the words and I will sing it and just keep going. So Killa, kick off that joint. Tell us about your one night stand. A memorable one night stand.

Kenrya: I mean I ... Yeah, sure. So I have had a few of them and they were all during a period that I lovingly refer to as my hoe period. Not that you have to be in a hoe period to have a one night stand, but as someone who was always in a fucking relationship, because I used to be afraid to be by myself, it took a hoe period for me to be able to have one night stands. And it was also during the time when I was grieving, because I had lost a partner or the person who I had just broken up with, died a couple of days after we broke up. And so, one of the ways that I coped once I got through the, "I'm crying all day, I'm not sleeping," portion of the grief, was that I was out here fucking.

Erica: As my granny would say, "Hmm, best way to get over an old man is to get under a new man."

Kenrya: Yeah, I guess so.

Erica: Not healthy, but it was said.

Kenrya: I wouldn't say that it was healthy, but it was fun. So, there were a few of memorable moments in there and you were around for, I think, two of them. So I think I'm going to tell the story that you weren't around for.

Erica: Yeah. Share.

Kenrya: So I was in the Dominican Republic for a friend's wedding and this was before folks really started boycotting the DR for how shitty its been treating Haitians. So it was, shit, years and years ago. And we went off of our resort to go to a club. And I just decided that I was fucking somebody that night. Like it was just-

Erica: Somebody going to get these yams.

Kenrya: Yeah. It was a decision that was already made. So we go to this club, I don't remember shit about it, except for that it was big and loud and the music was good. And I'm looking around, like looking for a prime candidate and I lock eyes with this little nigga and I'm like, "Oh, it's going to be him."

Erica: Was he like little, for real little?

Kenrya: No, no, no, no, no. I don't know why I'm calling him a little nigga.

Erica: I mean, you're not a huge person so it's just-

Kenrya: Yeah. He's taller than me. Whatever. I just, I remember looking at him and being like, "Oh yeah, okay. It's going to be him." Like I just decided. So maybe we dance a couple of times. I legit don't remember. It was a night. And at some point I leave to go to the bathroom because why? Because I always have to go to the bathroom. This is a thing that we know about me. So I go by myself to the bathroom, I've got this little electric blue wallet thing. Remember when all the little wallets were like those rectangles that you like closed, it has like a little clasp?

Erica: It was like a little pur-. I know exactly what you're talking.

Kenrya: One of those ... It wasn't really a purse, but it was like a card holder. Yeah. But I was using it as a purse. And so all I really had in it, I had a card, I had an ID, luckily I did not have my passport. And so I go and I'm drunk. Right. So I sit it on the toilet paper holder thing, which, God, I would normally never do ...

Erica: Germs.

Kenrya: Because germs and I pee and I walk out and I wash my hands and I fucking go back to my friends, not realizing that I've left my wallet purse thing in the bathroom. Yeah. So I'm out there drunk, dancing, whatever. And at some point I realize I don't have my shit. So I run back to the bathroom. Of course it's gone. Like gone, gone. The attendant in the bathroom was helping me look. We going through the garbage, like everything trying to find my shit. It's gone. So I'm like, "All right, well I still have an objective for the night." Fuck that wallet.

Erica: Ain't no sense in crying over spilled milk.

Kenrya: Yeah. Well, you know, I did. They made an announcement. Of course. You know, my shit.

Erica: That was just, let's help this bitch feel better.

Kenrya: Exactly. But I was like fuck it. I was like, “You know what? This has been terrible, but I have a thing that I wanted to do. And what's the point of sticking around for the rest of the night? Let's go!” So I tell my crew that I'm heading back. I tell old dude where I'm staying. I leave, he leaves and meets me. I think he met me, I don't know, maybe 20 minutes later. After I got back to my room, I needed a minute to get myself together.

Erica: Wash your puss.

Kenrya: Yeah, I had been in the club, dancing, whatever. So I get back and I'm staying with a roommate-

Erica: Even though he probably brought over stank balls, just so you know.

Kenrya: I'm sure he did.

Erica: Like, niggas are the worst.

Kenrya: Exactly. And I was in my twenties. So, you know ...

Erica: We cared about those things.

Kenrya: Yeah. And so-

Erica: I mean, we still do but ...

Kenrya: But I mean, he was also in his twenties, he didn't give a fuck. Yeah. And I had a roommate because we were there for a wedding in another country. I wasn't a baller, like we were sharing a room. And so I had let her know when I was leaving the club, what was happening just in case she came back while I was still entertaining my company.

Erica: Entertaining your man friend.

Kenrya: So he came over, we had some sex. I don't even really remember too much about it, except for that it was what I wanted and that it was safe. And I sent him on his way. I mean, at that point it was too late for me to be worried about my shit. So whatever I was like-

Erica: We'll figure that shit out in the morning.

Kenrya: ... This'll at least be a nice way. Yeah. It was a nice way to end the night. So next morning, I'm calling Amex and calling and canceling all my cards and also trying to get some money, which is a reason why I always have an Amex because Amex will send money wherever the fuck you are, if there is something wrong because I had zero money at that point. I didn't even have money to get to the airport.

Erica: Damn.

Kenrya: Amex sent me money so that I could get a cab to go pick it up. It was a whole thing, but Amex is awesome for that. So then I find out this nigga calls my room. He's staying at the same resort.

Erica: Shit. Oh shit.

Kenrya: Which I did not know because again, my plan was for this to happen and then for us to each go our separate ways. He calls checking in, "Did you figure out your card stuff, find your wallet?" I'm like, "No, I'm working on it. Why are you calling me?" But I was a much nicer person at that point and so when he asked to exchange information, I said, "Sure."

Erica: You didn't mean it.

Kenrya: I didn't and so I stayed in DR, I don't know for maybe another day or two, go back to New York where I'm living at the time, I'm in Harlem. I get a call.

Erica: Oh my gosh.

Kenrya: It's this nigga. Where does he live? Brooklyn. Who does he want to see? Me.

Erica: Your Harlem bound ass.

Kenrya: I'm like, "Oh, well ..."

Erica: Well, I guess ... It's like that. I mean, where it's like, yeah, yeah, I got it. Yep.

Kenrya: So I end up saying, "Okay," because I'm like fuck it. I ain't with nobody. I might as well go on and get bust down again. But I think I had plans or something. So I like, “When I’m done with my work friends...”

Erica: You like super...

Kenrya: My life, I get home and he was standing on my stoop.

Erica: Was he singing songs? He should've been.

Kenrya: No. He was just waiting on me. It was very cute. And so I brought him in and we did the do, and it was fine. And then he kept calling and I remember I was going to an event. This was back when I was a magazine editor and I would always be at events and it was an Apple event and they always would do it at this one particular hotel that was really dope where they would bring you in and it was like a gifting suite. And so you come in.

Erica: Oh, yes.

Kenrya: That's how I got my first iPhone, with service.

Erica: I remember that.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: I remember when that bitch stayed on for years.

Kenrya: Yeah. It was on for more than a year. And I think it's supposed to be three months of service and somebody just forgot to turn that shit off.

Erica: I remember, you were like, you call me, it's like, "My phone off." Finally.

Kenrya: Right. So then I just transfered my number over to that phone. And that was the beginning.

Erica: And that was the end of your Nextel. Your chirp chirp.

Kenrya: Yep. That's how that happened.

Erica: Okay, sorry.

Kenrya: So anyway, I was coming back from one of those events. I'm walking through Bryant Park, which is where they used to do Fashion Week. And so it was very magazine, whatever. And I'm walking back to my office, which is in Times Square. And it's a sunny day, whatever. This nigga calls. I'm like, "God dammit." I'm like, "Okay, I think it's time to do this."

Kenrya: So I pick up, he's like, "Hey,” you know, “can I see you?" And I was like, "No." And he was like, "What do you mean?" I was like, "I don't really want to do that." And he was like, "Why?" I was like, "Well, this was never meant to be a whole thing." I was like, "I thought I was upfront about that but obviously I wasn't." I was like, "So I just got to tell you, I'm not interested in this turning into anything. I don't want to have sex regularly. I don't want to be in a relationship. I'm good." And he was like, "Well, can we just be friends?" And I was like, "I don't think so." I was like, "The only thing that we have in common is that we like to fuck each other."

Erica: Yeah. What the fuck?

Kenrya: And I made some comforting noises and I got off the phone.

Erica: Comforting. Oh. Hmm. Ah.

Kenrya: Yeah. Yeah. So that is the story of one of my one night stands. How about you?

Erica: It took me a minute to think about a story that I haven't shared before.

Kenrya: Yeah. I think I've only shared the aftermath of this one. I don't think I had shared the whole thing.

Erica: But you talking about going to your office reminded me. So one of the things that I did when I was trying to figure out what the fuck I wanted to be when I grew up, I did commercial real estate. So-

Kenrya: I remember those days.

Erica: I worked at this commercial real estate firm and commercial real estate is an old white man sport. There are a few white women, few Black men. But if you're a Black woman in commercial real estate, you have really like, "Bitch, bow down." So I mean not this was in the olden days, but this was the early 2000s. So yeah, there was probably even less than there are now. So my office was on one half of the hall and there was another real estate firm on the other half, but they didn't really do commercial real estate. They did like investments. So it was a bunch of young slick niggas with suits and that kind of shit.

Erica: So there was this one dude and we kept flirting. We kept flirting, we kept flirting, and then one day we were like, "Hey, let's go." I guess this isn't a one night stand anyway. He's like, "Hey, let's go get some drinks after work." So I'm like, "Cool." So we go get some drinks after work. You know, liquor makes my pussy talk. Like in the words of my girl, JT and Yung Miami. So we get hot and heavy like there. So I was like, "I got to go back to my office and pick up something." So we get back to the office, he starts eating my pussy in the office.

Kenrya: Did you really have to pick up something?

Erica: No. I wanted him to eat my pussy in the office.

Kenrya: Okay.

Erica: So he eats my pussy in the office. And then he's like, "I can't wait to have you." So I'm like, "All right, you ain't got to wait. I live around the corner." So we go to my house. At this time I had a roommate and we ended up fucking in the ... We didn't even make it to my bedroom, we ended up fucking in the family room. We just ended up fucking in the family room. My dog sat on the couch and watched. We fucking standing up in a family room, middle of night. My roommate was in her room asleep. And then he left.

Kenrya: Andre was like, "Word?"

Erica: Yes. Andre was like, "Really? We going to do all that?" Yeah. And then we fucked and I was like, "It's really great meeting you." He was like, "Oh, I'm so sleepy." I said, "Well, you have a good drive back up to Dulles." And he left. I mean, that was the only time I fucked him, but I definitely did see him a lot, like in the hallway, on the elevator. And after that, I was like, "I don't know you." I definitely hit him with the same like, "Oh, hey, good, nice to see you. Yeah. I hope you have a good holiday." That kind of shit because it was like, "No, I wanted some dick and you smelled good that night." So yeah, that was that.

Kenrya: So I'm worried that both of our one night stand stories feature us not being that nice to people. Right. So, okay. There are ways-

Erica: But the thing is, I don't think he cared.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: I mean, I think-

Kenrya: He probably, he knew what he was getting into,

Erica: If anything, I think he was just mad he couldn't spend the night, but by then we had sobered up. So it's not like you were drunk driving, but I don't think he wanted like a relationship after that.

Kenrya: Okay, good.

Erica: Yeah.

Kenrya: I don't know if this other nigga did too. But at the very least he wants a steady supply of pussy and I just wasn't interested in being his supplier.

Erica: Yeah. He was like, "Nah, we ain't doing that. We ain't doing this. We ain't go down this road." Yeah. And I don't think one night stands necessarily have to be mean.

Kenrya: I don't think they have to at all.

Erica: It's just a transaction. It was a transaction.

Kenrya: I'm worried that those two felt-

Erica: No, no, I didn't. I don't think it was mean or manipulative. I think the only manipulative part on my end was me saying, "I got to go pick up something from my office." That's when I wanted him to eat my pussy right there.

Kenrya: Right there.

Erica: But yeah.

Kenrya: Have you ever had a one night stand keep popping up, like how I had with that dude?

Erica: I don't think so. Or maybe because the thing is. Here is a thing, DC is but only so big. And then you do the, "I went to Howard," and then if you've been in DC for long enough, like if somebody work on the Hill, you got a girl that work on a Hill, so all y'all, it's just, there are maybe like four groups of people, you know, like groups of types of people.

Kenrya: [inaudible 00:18:18] Black people. Yeah.

Erica: And so you in one of them groups and you didn't. Yeah. It's interesting because my ex-husband used to stay making friends and I'd be like, "Nigga, don't make no friends because I probably done fucked them."

Kenrya: Yeah, that's happened a couple of times.

Erica: And he was cool about it and we didn't even have to have a whole conversation. I'm just like, "Full disclosure," and he'll be like, "Oh, okay." And I'm like, "Look, dude, I became an adult here in this city so I done put some miles on this pussy in the city." But yeah. So I don't think that there were any that were trying to do much. I mean, I think I ... Full disclosure, I think that there were one night stands where I was, I mean, like let's not act like I was a bad bitch the whole time. There were definitely one night stands that I had where I was like, "Come on, come back."

Kenrya: "Can I have some more?"

Erica: "Can I have some more porridge, please?" Or wanting to turn it into more than just what it was, two niggas fucking. So you know, let's play and we'll take it.

Erica: Oh my God, I forgot about another one and [inaudible 00:19:25].

Kenrya: And it's making you laugh like that.

Erica: Because I literally had a flashback of fucking this nigga and then our home girl picking me up and we went out to eat afterwards. Like I fucked him at my house. We went out to a club, came back from the club, I fucked him on the couch in my little studio and then my girl called and was like, "Bitch, we going to Waffle House or something." You know, like, "We going to The Diner," and I was like, "Okay, come get me."

Erica: And I was like, "It was really great seeing you." And then I went to the diner and he went his way. But I thought about that also because that was the one guy, I was like, "You're so sweet. You're so kind." And he was like, "Oh, bitch. I just wanted some pussy and you made it good the first time. Now you trying to want some more." So I mean, I don't want to make it seem that like this player didn't take no shit because I definitely did with some one night stands. So yeah.

Kenrya: Yeah. I had one of the situations where you were there in Miami.

Erica: Okay.

Kenrya: That turned into a, "Oh, I'm coming to visit New York. We should get together." You knew that, right?

Erica: Yeah.

Kenrya: Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Erica: And like, "Bitch, you're coming to visit New York not me, right?" Yep. Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Kenrya: Yeah. We did end up doing it again though. It was good. And then that was that. I think we both understood that this was just another opportunity for us to touch and agree.

Erica: Touch and agree.

Kenrya: Keep it moving.

Erica: Ding.

Kenrya: Exactly.

Erica: All right, y'all. Well, this was our experiences with one night stands. Please share with us if you had some experiences with your one night stands that you want to share with us and with that, these are your two favorite hoe hosts.

Kenrya: That was cute.

Erica: Erica and Killa, two hoe hosts, making it clap.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: Anyway, bye.

Kenrya: Listen, okay. To be clear, right?

Erica: You go like this.

Kenrya: We are over video because I'm trying to time it and I can't and it's not like we in the same room. I felt like we did better when we were in the same room. Maybe.

Erica: Bye y'all.

Kenrya: Okay, bye. Bye.

[theme music]

Kenrya: This episode was produced by us Kenrya and Erica and edited by B'Lystic. The theme music is from Brazy. Now you can support The Turn On and get off. Subscribe to the show on your favorite podcast app and drop us a five star review and you'll be entered to win something that's turning us on. Just post your review and email us a screenshot at [email protected] to enter. Our Patreon page is also live. Become a supporter today and you'll gain access to lots of goodies, including The Turn On Book Club and two for one raffle entries. And don't forget to send us your book recommendations and your sex and related questions and follow us on Twitter at @TheTurnOnPod and Instagram at @TheTurnOnPodcast. You can find links to books, merch, transcripts, guest info, and other fun stuff at www.TheTurnOnPodcast.com. Thanks so much for listening and we will see you soon. Bye!