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SHOW NOTES
In this episode of The Turn On, Erica and Kenrya talk to The Boonie Breakdown host Adriene Boone about how where you come from impacts where you're going, striking a balance between being ratchet and responsible, and what it takes to earn a spot on the Mount Rushmore of Dicks.

RESOURCES

• Guest, Adriene Boone | Podcast, The Boonie Breakdown | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook
• Story, "Brazilian Wax" from "The Erotic Tales: Love, Sex and Submission," by Jacqueline R. Hawkins | Payhip
• Recommended Books: 
  • "Homegoing" by Yaa Gyasi | Bookshop | Amazon
  • "The Widow Clicquot: The Story of a Champagne Empire and the Woman Who Ruled It" by Tilar J Mazzeo | Bookshop | Amazon
• What's Turning Adriene On | Magic Wand

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• Use the code TURNON in The Boonie Breakdown shop for a 15% discount on any order greater than $20

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TRANSCRIPT
Kenrya: Hey, y'all. Welcome to this week's episode of The Turn On. Today we are talking to Adriene B., pronouns she and her. Adriene is a 30-something Baltimore native who cultivated her audience with a unique and highly engaging Twitter chat and her daily [inaudible 00:00:36] Facebook post. Her audience looks to her for her unfiltered honesty and refreshing authenticity. Now, with her podcast The Boonie Breakdown, Boonie is your source for all things responsible and ratchet. Thank you so much for coming on the show.

Adriene: Thank you for having me.

Erica: Aye, aye, aye! This has been a long time in the making.

Kenrya: Yes.

Erica: So, I'm very excited.

Adriene: Let's go!

Erica: Okay, so Kenrya already read your intro. You are a podcast host among other things, but podcasts didn't exist when we were growing up, so when you were little, what did little Boonie want to be when she grew up?

Adriene: What I wanted to be... I'm a true Sagittarius, it changed quite a lot. I wanted to be a hair stylist, I wanted to be a teacher, I wanted to be a lawyer. But then when we got high school age, I wanted to be a car designer for BMW.

Kenrya: That's hella specific.

Erica: That is mad specific. How did you get there?

Adriene: So, I got there because, believe it or not, I am a math and science geek. I love math and science.

Kenrya: Me too.

Adriene: So, I was just like, "Oh, I'm going to be an engineer. There aren't a lot of women car designers and there weren't Black women car designers." I think right now it's three actually, I still follow that industry. In true Sagittarius fashion, I got to college and I was like, "Engineering is boring."

Erica: “Where the political science at? Econ?”

Adriene: I literally switched to the business school, like, "Okay, we can do business. That sounds fun," and then became a marketing major.

Erica: Damn. I mean, shit.

Adriene: A true Sagittarius.

Erica: I say this all the time, I think it is so fucked up that we are forced to ask 18-19 year olds to commit to some shit that supposedly sets their path for the rest of their life.

Kenrya: For the rest of their lives.

Adriene: "What do you want to do with your life?"

Erica: Fuck that.

Kenrya: Well, and they make people feel bad when that's not what they want to do, right? Or make it difficult for them to switch up and make pivots because of some shit that you decided when you were 18 and dumb.

Adriene: Yeah.

Erica: Yeah.

Adriene: But then I think when my grandmother was like, "Look, okay. You did this one switch, this is it. You're not changing. You're not going to be in college six, seven years. We are going to finish this in four, so if it's business then that's what it's going to be."

Erica: It was nice and general.

Adriene: She knew me because I would've kept changing. I would've been Lynn from “Girlfriends.” I would've been in college for... Just kept changing.

Kenrya: With all the PhDs.

Adriene: Yes.

Erica: Like, "I need my third PhD." Okay.

Adriene: That totally would've been me.

Kenrya: So, how did you get from, "I'm in business now. I'm in marketing," to doing your show and everything else that you do? And tell us what all you do.

Adriene: So, in real life I do do marketing and communications, the nine to five. And so, I had a deviation from that career. I think I got laid off. To be 20 again, just be like, "Fuck these jobs," right? I had no real responsibilities. And I remember I got offered severance or take some bullshit career path. It's okay to cuss right?

Erica: Girl.

Adriene: And I was like, "I'm going to take this severance," and I had the best six months of unemployment ever, but the same time my grandmother's health took a downturn, so it was the perfect time to be unemployed. And then, good Black folk in Baltimore... I got a job at social security and I fucking hated it. Oh my God, I hated that job, but it was just because it was so boring and regimented, and it was after I had this skillset. It was like, "This is it? This is all? This is what y'all be doing for 30 years? Nah, I'm out of here." But while I was there, I would get so bored that every day at 2:00 I started this Twitter chat called Boonie's Ratchet Hour and people would literally-

Erica: Wait, I'm sorry. So, it was so slow at your job that you were able to have a standing appointment.

Kenrya: Every day?

Adriene: Yes. Every day at 2:00. I would tweet out, "Queue up Oprah's original theme music." The original one, not that cute shit she was doing at the end.

Erica: “Wake Up Chicago.”

Adriene: If I was 10 minutes late because something was actually happening at work, people would be like, "Where's Boonie?" So, it became a standing thing. I would be like, "Oh my God, people are telling me this." And if they were too shy, they would DM me because I would be like, "DM tale!" and it would be some ratchet, raunchy shit. Shit, that was 10 years ago. I didn't even know what a podcast was then. And a guy that I met through Ratchet Hour on Twitter was like, "You should do a podcast." He said this then. And I was like, "What? No."

Kenrya: "The fuck is a podcast?"

Adriene: Didn't do it. He built out a website, he does all of this stuff for me for free.

Erica: Oh, that's...

Adriene: Yeah.

Kenrya: Were you giving him pussy?

Adriene: I was just like, "What? I'm not doing that."

Erica: And did you give him some pussy? Kenrya asked.

Adriene: He's on my Mount Rushmore of dicks. The best sex I was having at the time.

Erica: Yes!

Kenrya: Of course. I'm like, "Nigga's not working that hard for nothing."

Erica: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Adriene: So, he slid up. It goes down the DMs 10 years ago. And so that's how it started. Then, three of us got together like, "Okay. We're going to do this podcast," and we didn't do it. I'm still fucking him. And then I started a blog in the meantime like, "I'll be a blogger." Hated that shit. And then the podcast finally. Finally, I was like, "All right. Let me try this podcast thing that someone told me to do 10 years ago."

Kenrya: Wow.

Adriene: Or at the time, six years ago.

Erica: Before I ask my next question, you talked about your Mount Rushmore of Dicks.

Adriene: Yes.

Erica: And I remember I caught and episode... Have you seen that meme where there's the two people in an advertisement and the guy is sitting next to it talking to the advertisement? That's how I feel when I listen to your episodes. I'm like, "Yeah, girl. Uh-huh (affirmative), uh-huh (affirmative)." I'm adding my two cents in. So, all that to say-

Kenrya: I do not know what meme you're talking about

Erica: There's a meme-

Adriene: I've seen it. He's laying on the floor, yeah.

Erica: Yeah. It's an ice cream ad, and these two girls in the ad smiling and talking, and he's laying next to them like, "Yeah, girl. Mm-hmm (affirmative)." Anyway...

Adriene: I've seen that one.

Erica: The episode that I caught, I think it was you and Shika, y'all were talking about your Mount Rushmore of Dicks?

Adriene: Yes.

Erica: Explain that and then give me your Mount Rushmore of Dicks. Kenrya, you will have time to think and I will provide mine.

Kenrya: Oh, let me do some thinking. Oh, shit. Okay.

Adriene: So, Mount Rushmore because I was having trouble... I always had my top three and for me those were the men, if they knocked on my door right now while we're recording this, I would be like, "Bye, bitches. I got to go." So, that was always my criteria. That at any moment in my life I ran into these men again, they don't have to work for it, we're doing it. But then someone else came into the picture recently and I was like, "Well those three still deserve, but..." and then I was like, "Rushmore! I could do a Mount Rushmore." So, we pinpointed it as my Mount Rushmore. And so in the episode we were like, "It was Jefferson, Washington, Lincoln, and Roosevelt," and we really assigned these qualities to our corresponding meats, or penises for this instance. And so, my Washington is the guy that I was just talking about.

Erica: The Founding Father! Okay. All right. Uh-huh (affirmative), uh-huh (affirmative).

Adriene: Yeah. I think that was my first time... Because when we met I was maybe 26 or 27, so I thought I was having good sex until I met that nigga and I was like, "Oh, this is what it's supposed to be? Okay." He set the bar.

Erica: Transformational sex.

Adriene: Yeah. And he had a gorgeous penis. Everything about it was just... Yes.

Kenrya: Top notch.

Adriene: Ever since then it was like, "That set the bar. We can smash, that's just trash, I don't even count it."

Erica: Like our good sis Megan said.

Adriene: So, then I would say my Lincoln... I have a guy who's 10 years older than me, so at the time I was 32, he was 42-43. So, I feel like he was my Lincoln. He was distinguished, he was older, he earned the spot.

Kenrya: I was about to say, "Did he free the enslaved niggas? Okay."

Erica: He freed that pussy.

Kenrya: He freed that pussy, right.

Adriene: My pussy was enslaved because my dumb ass after Mr. Washington my heart was broken. "Oh, Lord. Was I in love?" I did a year of no sex, and he was the first one. He freed the pussy. He was the first one back on.

Erica: Oh. Yeah, he did free the pussy. Okay.

Adriene: So, he literally did. Then, my Roosevelt, he's just classic. He's just classic. I recently saw him. I had not had sex with this man... To prove my point, I had not seen him in five years. I ran into him last year right before COVID happened. It was like, "The chemistry is still there." It was not safe to do so in a pandemic, but he pulled up and I was like, "Pack a bag and stay a few days because it's rough right now." And that shit was still fucking good, so I was like, "That solidified his spot." And then the new person, he's definitely a Jefferson. He deserves to be a Founding Father because he's taught me a few new things. Old hoes can learn new things still. And I felt like he deserved Jefferson.

Erica: Okay. I love it. I love it, I love it. Okay, so for me, I guess my Founding Father would probably be this guy that I dated right after college. He was an older guy. That's when I kind of started getting wild. That's when we started experimenting and playing and doing more things. And then I have another friend who... He's my Lincoln. My friend... Kenrya, I travel to meet that friend, you know what I'm talking about.

Kenrya: Oh, I know that. Yeah, okay.

Erica: So, it's good because, again, we have fun. He be like, "We're going to get free. We are free and loose." I like that. I have a recent one who is probably the newest to the list and that was who just called.

Adriene: Come on, new to the list! I heard him like, "I'm in the area." I was like, "Oh, shit. Let's get this going."

Erica: "How long are you going to be here?" Okay. Yeah. Yeah, and then...

Kenrya: Was he Jefferson or is he Roosevelt?

Erica: That nigga's Jefferson. No, he's Roosevelt because didn't Roosevelt do the highway system and stuff?

Adriene: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Kenrya: Yeah, public works.

Erica: Roosevelt really had an effect on the community. And so, this nigga had an effect on this street.

Kenrya: On the community.

Erica: He had an effect on the streets. Okay. And then, my Jefferson... I'll give it to my ex-husband. Wait. Wait, no. I'm not going to go back to it, it just was significant dick.

Adriene: Okay.

Kenrya: Although, my partner is still betting that it's going to happen and I was like, "Nigga it is never happening."

Erica: Nigga, if you don't chill out.

Kenrya: His dumb ass can keep thinking that it's going to happen because I'm going to take his pink slip.

Erica: Yeah, you owned something, right? Yeah, she's going to take his car or something. They bet a car on if I'm going to get back with my ex-husband.

Adriene: Oh.

Kenrya: It's never happening.

Erica: Mind you, my ex-husband and I are cool as fuck. Cool as fuck. But it ain't going to happen.

Kenrya: That's okay. I'm going to get a car.

Erica: The fucked up thing is he thinks he sees some shit, and I'm like, "No, you don't see shit."

Kenrya: He does. He thinks he does.

Erica: Okay, Killa.

Kenrya: Okay. So, I want to preface this by saying that none of these niggas could walk up and get it again. I'm out of the game.

Adriene: Okay.

Erica: Okay. All right. Okay, okay, okay.

Kenrya: So, I got to give that disclaimer.

Adriene: All right, that's fair.

Kenrya: And also all the Founding Fathers... Well, whatever. We'll get there.

Erica: They're trash, but okay.

Adriene: Yeah, we know that.

Kenrya: So, Washington would be the dude who I fucked with starting my sophomore year through the beginning of my senior year.

Erica: Ugh.

Kenrya: Yeah, exactly. Trash, ended up being abusive, all of that. But before that, he was the one who made me late to class and meetings because he was giving me head. This man had no stigmas around anything when it came to sex.

Erica: Okay.

Kenrya: Lick a booty hole? Okie-dokie.

Erica: There's nothing like a man that willingly and happily feasts on ass.

Adriene: That was my George Washington. It was the first time someone had ventured to that area. I was like, "Oh, wait."

Erica: And I don't like a tentative... Sorry, okay.

Kenrya: So, that was my Washington just because, he was only the second person I ever had sex with, but opened me up to a whole bunch of things. First person I smoked weed with, we used to get high and fuck in the dorm, all of that.

Adriene: Sounds like a good time.

Kenrya: It was until it wasn't.

Adriene: Until it wasn't.

Kenrya: My Lincoln is the nigga I fucked with in the midst of my divorce. He definitely freed the pussy. So, we had been together before and then broke up, and then each got married, and then came back to each other after and during divorces.

Adriene: Oh, y'all took the long path.

Kenrya: Yeah. I should've never, but whatever.

Erica: The long path to the not so promised land, right?

Kenrya: To Bullshit Town.

Erica: Like, "This where the fuck we ended up? Shit."

Kenrya: Exactly. Ended up being a not great whatever, but the sex was top notch and it was exactly what I needed coming out of a marriage and all of that. I needed someone who I felt like I could be 100% myself with in and out of bed, and especially in the bed and that is what that was for me. So, that's Lincoln.

Adriene: Love to see it.

Kenrya: Roosevelt, just classic and breaking barriers and making my life better, is my current partner.

Erica: Aw.

Kenrya: It's great and it's consistent.

Adriene: Oh, consistency.

Kenrya: I don't ever not cum, unless I want to. Unless I'm delaying gratification because I like to do that sometimes because fireworks.

Adriene: Look, edging is fun.

Kenrya: Yeah, yeah. Unless it's on me, I don't ever not cum. It is fan-fucking-tastic. He is Roosevelt, not going nowhere, steady, classic, but also amazing. And then, Jefferson is the most trash nigga of them all so-

Adriene: Literally of them all.

Kenrya: Of them all. So, he represents all the other niggas.

Erica: Like in Voltron, they all combine forces.

Kenrya: Came together. Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Erica: Okay. I love it.

Kenrya: That was fun.

Erica: And this is a sample of some of the conversations that go on on your podcast. You talk about sex a lot openly on your podcast, among other things. I think it would be shortsighted just to call your podcast a sex podcast because you touch on a little bit of everything. But what was the prevailing attitude around sex in your home growing up? Especially because I know you had a close relationship with your granny and so I can imagine, if she was anything like my granny, she was yin and yang all in one old lady.

Adriene: So, my grandmother was everything to me. People always see my grandmother as my mother figure and my mom more like a sister figure. And I will say my grandmother was very old school, she was very traditional, so I would be kind of curious if she was still with us, what her thoughts would be about me doing this because I think she would be a little like, "Are you crazy? You're out here, this is what you're talking about?" But on the other hand, my mom calls herself Mama Ratchet because my podcast, our tagline is, "Your resource for all things responsible and ratchet." And my mom calls herself Mama Ratchet, she has the merch, she's at my shows, she listens to most of the episodes, she's down for it. And so my mom took the approach, because my grandmother was so buttoned up and traditional, that my mom didn't shy away from things. So, she wasn't out her like, "Girl, that last night..." but if I came to her and asked her a question, she would give me an honest answer. And I always tell this story because...

Adriene: I went to a predominately white middle school, high school growing up. And it was seventh grade, we're at the lunch table, and they're talking about stuff I have no idea what these girls are talking about. And one of the girls was like, "Yeah, I gave him a blowjob." So, all the girls were like, "Oh my God!" I have no idea what a blowjob is, right? So, I get in the car, we're coming home from school-

Erica: Take a note.

Adriene: And I was like, "Ma, at lunch today so-and-so said she gave so-and-so a blowjob." She jerked the car a little bit. And I was like, "I had no idea what that is," and my mother was like, "Oh, you didn't?" I was like, "No, what is it?" I remember the one girl in my carpool, she was in 11th grade and I'm in 7th grade, and so she looks at my mom like, "What you about to say?"

Kenrya: "Girl, what you going to do?"

Adriene: And so my mom, I will never forget it, she was like, "Well, you know sometimes women like to put their mouths on men's penises because it feels good to the man." And I was like, "Ew! Why would they do that?" Now, fast forward... But at the time I was just like, "That is so gross!" And she was like, "Well, at some point you might not find it gross," and I was just like, "I would never! That is so disgusting." But that's how my mom's approach always was. She started the sex conversation with me. She didn't wait. I guess after that she was like, "Wait a minute. I can't wait."

Kenrya: For the streets.

Adriene: We still to tease her now because she used to buy movies from Avon. So, she bought “Just Another Girl on the I.R.T.” And she hits play-

Erica: You can buy movies from Avon?

Kenrya: Wait, wait. What?

Adriene: You could used to buy movies from Avon back in the day.

Erica: And Spike Lee movies, right? What?

Adriene: It was all types of movies my mother would buy, and then she would make me and my brother watch them and then we would have a discussion about them.

Erica: Is this some Baltimore shit?

Kenrya: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Erica: Is this some Baltimore shit because I don't remember my Avon lady...

Kenrya: Officially from Avon? Right, I'm about to say, I feel like your Avon lady was just also selling bootlegs out the trunk.

Adriene: I swore! And the little Avon book.

Erica: Your Avon lady sold Louis Vuitton's, Skin So Soft, and movies.

Kenrya: [crosstalk 00:22:50].

Adriene: Look, mommy would come home with movies. And so there was this one movie when me and my brother were little we had to watch about molestation, but it was like, "My body belongs to me," and all this.

Kenrya: Yes it does.

Adriene: That was how my mother set the scene and then we would talk about it. So, we watched
“Just Another Girl on the I.R.T.” and she got pregnant and you know what happens, and then we talked about it and she's like, "When you have sex..." And I was just like, "Oh my God." And she was like, "Do you have any questions?" So, my mom was just very open and very free about that, so in retrospect I'm so appreciative because I look at some of my friends who are like, "My mom still hasn't had a conversation with me about it. How can you sit here and talk to your mom? How does she listen to your podcast? I could never," and we're almost 40. And I'm like, "Yeah I could call my mother up." Or she'll joke me. My mom has a radar on me. She knows when I just got my back blown out and she will call when I'm still laying there. It's a joke now with my partner now because we'll be laying there, the phone rings, he be like, "It's your mother." I don't know how she does this, but almost every single time she's hitting that phone. I'm like, "It's 3:00 in the morning, what you doing?"

Kenrya: That's crazy.

Erica: I would love it.

Adriene: So, it's very open.

Kenrya: Good job Mama Ratchet, right? So, you just told us really hilariously how your mama impacts the way you move through your world, I'm curious how being from Baltimore impacts the way you move through the world and the work that you do.

Adriene: I joke because everybody's like, "If you can make it in New York, you can make it anymore," I really feel that shit is true about Baltimore. Where I grew up, everything was stacked against me to be a statistic. Whatever statistic it was going to be, that should've been me. And so that is where my grandmother stepped up because she had the means, financially, to make sure she could chart a different path for us. And so I'm appreciative of that, but I'm also not naive to know, "Shit. I made it from West Baltimore." And I always do for reference point so people who aren't familiar with Baltimore, and I hate using this reference point but it's the easiest recently, where that CVS burnt in the riots after Freddie Gray, I grew up three lights from there. So, all the statistics you hear about that neighborhood in West Baltimore, I have friends that I grew up with, I see them now and I'm like, "You look like you're 50. You've been shot. This one's strung out." And so, for the few of us who have made something it's like, "We did it. We made it." And so I feel like it's that duality of, I went to this private school, upper class, but my ass was going home to West Baltimore every day. And so, I'm appreciative that my grandmother was able to do that for me, but I'm still grounded that I'm from West Baltimore.

Erica: Yeah. So, your tagline for your podcast is, "...all things responsible and ratchet." What does that mean? What does it mean to you to be responsible and ratchet?

Adriene: All your bills is paid but you're going to bust that shit open.

Erica: Aye!

Adriene: That's literally my podcast.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Adriene: If you listen, it'll be an episode where we're talking about our favorite dicks, and then next week it will literally be like, "All right. IRS is on our back, we got to pay these student loans," right? So, I think it's that duality of life that you can be a responsible adult but you can turn up and have a little ratchet fun too. I just don't think you have to pick, I'm this or I'm that, I can be both. And I could be a little bit more responsible than I'm ratchet, or sometimes I could be a little more ratchet than I'm responsible.

Erica: This much responsible and that much ratchet.

Adriene: I feel like you can tell in my seasons because I'm in season nine now, and so I was looking at the episodes I've already recorded and I was like, "You can tell what I'm going through," because these episodes are mad responsible, so I'm like, "I have to find some ratchet. I got to ratchet this up a little bit." But last season I felt like they were super ratchet.

Kenrya: So, we asked you to come on because the last story that we read on the show, “Brazilian Wax,” which is from “Erotic Tales of Love, Sex and Submission,” is perfectly ratchet and we know that you know a little bit about that. It features someone who gets their pussy ate while getting a wax. Yeah.

Adriene: I have questions.

Kenrya: I tot have questions about pieces of hair.

Adriene: So, here's the thing, I said that to my mom because I'm honest, right? And my mom was like, "I would be worried about the wax getting on my lips."

Kenrya: I was definitely thinking about the logistics of it all.

Adriene: Now, here's the thing, sometimes when you get a Brazilian, because I European wax every five weeks, my girl is not ashamed to get up in there. I feel like she's more intimately in touch with my vagina than my gynecologist is.

Erica: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Kenrya: They spend more time down there.

Erica: Yeah.

Adriene: The first time I remember she was like, "Okay, let me open you up," and I was like, "Oh, she's going to... She's not... Okay, get it clean."

Erica: I was like, "I don't think sun has ever hit there."

Adriene: But as she's waxing, you know when they pull it and they hold it so it doesn't hurt, and she touched my clit. And I was like, "Wait a minute, am I aroused right now? What just happened?" So, I can see how it could turn, but if somebody just started eating my pussy during a wax, I don't know how that works though.

Kenrya: Yeah. I mean, in the story she was already fantasizing about her before it happened, and she was already getting excited just from the act of the waxing. So then, when she saw that she was wet, she was like, "Word. Okay."

Adriene: Okay.

Kenrya: But so my question for you is, have you ever had a situation that's basically not really sexual turn into something majorly sexual?

Adriene: I was thinking about this one a lot, and I normally don't like to think about the questions when people send them because I don't want it to sound robotic and that's not even my style anyway.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Adriene: And I was really trying to think of a time with someone else, and I was like, "I got nothing," but one time I was doing laundry... I have never shared this with anybody.

Kenrya: Juicy.

Erica: DJ Clue Exclusive!

Adriene: And I had like stuffed this laundry bag full of laundry and I was like, "Now I got to fold it," and a light bulb went off and was like, "This could be useful for spicing up masturbation." And so I kind of put the Hitachi, I'm trying to act it out, on the laundry bag. I was straddling it like it was a nigga and for it to be a different position. So, that was the only thing I could come up with.

Erica: Okay.

Kenrya: No, that's a great one.

Adriene: I texted bae last night like, "Hey," thinking he would say something that would jog my memory. Nothing.

Kenrya: Yeah. Now, I'm trying to think about it. I guess it's the equivalent of wet dreams, I have cum in my sleep several times. I'll be dreaming about sex and then I'll be waking up actually finishing, but I'm also dreaming about sex so I don't know that that's unsexy because there's definitely...

Adriene: Does that count?

Kenrya: Yeah, yeah. Because definitely that's what's happening in my dream.

Adriene: But now I think, "Do I need to spice this up? Is there something I need to make happen now?"

Erica: Yeah.

Kenrya: You got to get your girl to...

Adriene: No, that's so funny.

Erica: Here's the thing, I've never had something happen but I feel like there has been sexual energy. So, when I do work out, I personal train. Why? Because I cannot be left to my own druthers to make sure that I'm going to do it. So, there's a lot of backtalk and all of that. I turn into a submissive brat when personal training. I remember I had a trainer, I did not have sex with him, but there was lots of sexual energy because I'm like, "I'm not doing anything!" "You're going to do it." I'm like, "Okay." Had I thought about it a little more, we probably would've fucked.

Adriene: I have a theory about personal trainers on Instagram and fat women. I feel like they try to flirt with you in your DMs to get you to sign up. That's their mechanisms. Like, "Nigga, I get dick please get out of my DMs."

Kenrya: Yeah. "I don't need it from you." When I lived in New York, I had a personal trainer who I did not like but he was very clearly attracted to me, and so it was a lot of one-sided flirting when I was working out, but it was fine because he was funny so it never crossed the line of making me feel uncomfortable. But then, I remember I missed a session. I got married without telling anybody. And so I came back and I had a ring on, and he had me on the treadmill and he was like, "The fuck is that?"

Adriene: Oh, damn.

Kenrya: He was like, "Who'd you marry?"

Erica: "I'se married now!"

Kenrya: Right. But it was crazy because I could see his whole demeanor and the way that he trained me change once he saw that it wasn't just that I wasn't... Because me just being uninterested wasn't enough, mind you.

Adriene: He's like, "It's not even an option now."

Kenrya: Right. There had to be another dick in the picture for him to be like, "Oh, okay. I'll leave her the fuck alone," which is an issue all onto itself. And I think maybe I only lasted a couple more weeks with him before I stopped training with him.

Erica: Niggas!

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: Niggas!

Adriene: Pretty much.

Erica: They say that personal trainers and barbers are male thots, right?

Kenrya: Thot jobs.

Adriene: Yeah.

Erica: And HVAC techs.

Adriene: So, you know I had a story about my HVAC tech. I was like, "Damn, I feel like I kind of fumbled the bag," because he's always been timely, efficient, affordable. And one day he pulled up and the little gold tooth was gone, he looked like a woman was in his life, right? So, it made me pay attention. And then I was walking to the door and he was driving a damn Range Rover now. I was like, "Damn!" Yeah, so, HVACs. Yep.

Erica: Some woman picked him up and dusted him off.

Adriene: Yep. He wasn't unattractive but I just never paid attention. But you can see when a woman refines a man up, and I was like, "Ooh, wait a minute."

Kenrya: He's cared for.

Erica: Mm-hmm (affirmative). Looking like somebody love him.

Kenrya: A diamond in the fucking rough.

Erica: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Erica: Okay. So, have you ever found yourself lusting after someone that you shouldn't have? Or that you imagined it wouldn't even happen? What happened?

Adriene: So, you know that mean that's going around where it's like, "When I feel bad about myself I just remember I bagged every nigga I wanted." Yeah, I think that's me.

Erica: I like that. I like that.

Adriene: Yeah. Sometimes you scroll on Instagram and you be like, "Damn, he fine," I'm quick to pull up in a DM. Closed mouths don't get fed, right? I could play it off, right? If you're not interested I'll be like, "LOL. Ha ha ha," and peace out. The Homer Simpson gif.

Erica: Okay, so I've never done the DM thing. How do you shoot your shot?

Adriene: Really?

Erica: Yeah.

Adriene: This is Boonie's ratchet ranking of social media DM dick. Twitter-

Erica: Exclusive! Okay. Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Adriene: Twitter, then Facebook, Instagram has given me the weakest dick ever. Don't do it. Twitter dick is popping, I'm sorry.

Erica: And I don't want to sound slow about this, it's just I've never done it and it might be on my [crosstalk 00:36:43].

Adriene: All right, here's an example.

Erica: Okay.

Adriene: Yesterday my homie posted a picture. Our problematic fav on my podcast, Brian, he has his business. He posted this guy on his Insta story, so I sent the eyes emoji back to Brian and he was like, "Leave my customers alone." I was like, "Too late. Slid in his DMs." And I was looking at his Insta story and he had shared the meme about, "When you dating a female entrepreneur you automatically sign up for an unpaid internship," or something like that, "...to be an unpaid intern." And so I was like, "Are you looking for an internship?" That was me sliding in the DMs.

Erica: You know what? All right. I might have to get some private coaching, but I like it. All right, I like it.

Adriene: And I could take the funny route, I did that this morning. So, if he responds back like, "No," then I could be like, "Oh, that meme was funny LOL." Peace. Or if he takes the bait, then we can go further.

Kenrya: I like it.

Erica: Always thinking. Always thinking, I love it.

Kenrya: I don't ever get... Maybe because it's my Twitter is not really... Nobody gives a fuck what I'm saying on Twitter. IG is where I get all my DMs.

Erica: My Twitter is drier.

Adriene: Twitter's still my favorite social media platform. But back in the day, it was popping over there and I was like, "Okay, we'll sample. We'll sample a little."

Kenrya: Yeah. All my shit comes through IG.

Adriene: But Instagram has let me down far more than any of the others.

Kenrya: I obviously am not accepting things, but that's where the majority of my DM propositions, and also sometimes Facebook, and often times IG and Facebook, which gets you blocked if you hit me up on two.

Adriene: Oh, yeah. Because people went and made those combined inboxes.

Erica: Yeah, they had that combined inbox thing.

Kenrya: No, no, no. What happens is I'll get it on Facebook and I'll ignore it, and then they'll come over to my IG. And if you do that you automatically get blocked.

Adriene: Oh. [crosstalk 00:38:47].

Kenrya: Exactly. And on Twitter it's only been women. I actually haven't had any men approach me, only women.

Adriene: Now, I have this woman on Twitter, I thought she was joking at first but I'm not sure she's joking anymore. So, I'm just like, "Oh, okay."

Erica: Like, "Okay. Thanks. That's right. That's right."

Adriene: "If that ever comes on the menu, I'll let you know sis."

Kenrya: Yes. So, what are you reading right now?

Adriene: So, I am terrible. Again, the Sagittarius in me, I will buy books, order on Instagram, and they look so pretty on my nightstand. But right now I'm actually in the middle of a move and I realized when y'all sent that, I was like, "I didn't leave no books out. They all packed up." But I did get recently... Was it Homecoming? I'm making that up.

Erica: Yeah. No, you're not making it up.

Adriene: Oh, it's Homecoming by Yaa Gyasi. Is that it?

Kenrya: Yaa. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know how to pronounce their last name.

Adriene: Someone bought me that. The marketing nerd in me... This is so corny, don't judge me y'all, but I got the Widow of Clicquot book. That's the marketing nerd in me.

Erica: I saw that somewhere.

Adriene: Yeah. So, it's about how he actually died and she made it the brand that everyone's posting on Instagram. So, those were the last two things I purchased that I planned on reading.

Erica: Okay.

Kenrya: I like it. Those are great answers.

Erica: Whatever's clever.

Kenrya: Exactly.

Erica: So, what is turning you on today?

Adriene: Ooh, what is turning me on? Three things. One, my Hitachi Magic Wand turned me on this morning.

Erica: Yes.

Adriene: Two, hopefully bae comes over and so we've been dirty sexting all day long. So, that is fun.

Kenrya: Oh, preparation.

Erica: It's got it marinating.

Kenrya: Marinating.

Erica: It's going to be fall off the bone juicy by the time he get there.

Adriene: We're ready for that.

Erica: Like a Little Caesar's pizza, hot and ready.

Adriene: I'm going to say that, hot and ready. And the third things that's turning me on is I have not been to a nail salon in a long time because of the pandemic, but I had found... An Instagram ad worked on me for these, and I did my nails today and I'm kind of feeling myself because my nails hadn't been done and they've been short. I don't do the long. I wish I was a bad bitch who could do them long nails.

Erica: These are short for me.

Adriene: Really? Oh my God, I wish.

Kenrya: She got her shits cut down. Yeah.

Erica: Yeah.

Kenrya: I don't do anything.

Erica: I mean, I can't do shit with them. I be typing like this.

Adriene: Okay, that's always my question. And they look so pretty when you wrap them around a dick, but I really just could not operate so these are short for me. They'll get a little longer, but I was just so excited because there's color back on my hands. So, those are the three things that's turning me on.

Erica: I love it! Okay, so we're going to do a quick rapid fire.

Adriene: Uh oh.

Kenrya: It don't be rapid fire.

Erica: Category is favorites. Yeah, it's never rapid fire. Favorite. I'm going to shout out something, you tell me what's your favorite.

Adriene: Okay.

Erica: Drink.

Adriene: Gin and tonic.

Erica: Ooh, that's an adult drink.

Kenrya: Yeah. You're a grown up.

Erica: Person. Dead or alive.

Adriene: My granny.

Erica: You know I love a good granny.

Kenrya: That's Erica's favorite too.

Erica: I love a good granny. Place.

Adriene: Oh. And I can't wait to get back to them. So, first would be Italy. And two, Cape Town, South Africa.

Erica: Word.

Adriene: My favorite word. My friends will laugh. Wonderful.

Erica: That is wonderful.

Adriene: I'll text it, they're like, "I hear it in your voice." I'll be like, "Oh, wonderful." That's my favorite word.

Erica: I feel like you're supposed to do this when you say it. Wonderful! Okay. Shoe.

Adriene: I really hate shoes. I don't know if I'm a woman. Can I say that?

Erica: It could be a sneaker. Crocs, which I've learned to love.

Adriene: Okay. I saw you talking about your Crocs.

Kenrya: She's been pushing these fucking Crocs all day.

Adriene: I'm still not sold on Crocs, but my favorite shoe is Birkenstocks.

Erica: How are you going to be not sold on a Croc but cool with Birken? Honey, I'm just the landfill version of your shoe, okay? Shit.

Adriene: I will say, I wish I had thought of the stupid charms that everyone's putting on them.

Kenrya: Okay. She has left me three audio messages today. She made me in our meeting before this call look at her shit.

Erica: And then, look. When I got to put them in sport mode...

Adriene: That took me out. You're like, "I'm in sport mode." I was like, "What?" But everybody's on the Croc train, so I might be there soon.

Kenrya: No, they're ugly.

Erica: Come one.

Kenrya: No. I'm going to keep wearing my slides.

Erica: She wears slides with socks.

Kenrya: Sure the fuck do.

Erica: But she talking about the Crocs are ugly.

Kenrya: Comfortable. And they not ugly.

Erica: Oh, they are. Okay. So, your favorite smell?

Adriene: Okay. I'm going to give a responsible and a ratchet answer.

Erica: Please.

Adriene: My responsible answer, my favorite smell is just fresh linen. A very clean, fresh linen. Love it.

Erica: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Adriene: I want to give two ratchet ones.

Erica: Yes.

Adriene: The first is... I'm nasty. The smell of my mouth or breath or saliva on him. It's a very distinct smell, but I like it. And then second, a good smelling ass man. I don't care what the cologne is. Just a good smelling man.

Erica: Yeah. Yeah. Ooh, you got me reminiscing. All right.

Adriene: And my third one, a good smelling man after multiple rounds of sex, those sheets.

Erica: Yeah.

Adriene: I will sleep in them for two days before I change the sheets. Disgusting, but they smell good. Okay.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Adriene: It's so crazy because you change the sheets before they come.

Erica: So they're fresh.

Adriene: So, I got the linen smell, and then if it's the good smelling cologne man, and then you got the sex smell all in one. It's just the perfect combination.

Erica: I think it's all good.

Kenrya: So, you have offered our listeners a special deal, right?

Adriene: Yes.

Kenrya: If they use the code "TURNON" on your site, what can they get?

Adriene: So, if you use the code " TURNON" on TheBoonieBreakdown.com, you can save 15% on orders over $20 of any merch.

Erica: Aye! And you have a shirt on that I love.

Adriene: I will correct it to be 15% over $20 because now I'm sitting here like, "Did I say that?" But that's what it is, it'll be 15%.

Kenrya: You definitely said 10, but we will take that 15.

Adriene: Yeah, it'll be 15% off of orders over $20. So, you can get hoodies, t-shirts, mugs, all of the great responsible and ratchet gear that we have.

Kenrya: Great merch. Your shit's dope.

Adriene: Thank you.

Kenrya: Y'all make some of that happen. So, what's next for you?

Adriene: What is next? I'm ready to get back to doing live shows. I don't know if I will do any this year because I feel like the competition of live events later in the year is going to be insane, so I'm just probably going to wait until next year. Yeah. We're in season nine of the podcast right now.

Erica: Aye, aye, aye!

Adriene: We just launched a Patreon, so we do some little live gatherings, well "live" means virtual right now, on Patreon, which is fun. We just did one on our Patreon, it was a nude workshop and sis was giving all the tips! Blew my mind. I thought I took good nudes. People were showing popping their titties out and stuff. Because I asked people if you felt comfortable to come in lingerie, and so then I was like, "Damn, bitch. You asked them to do that, now you going to have to do it." So, I did it. I showed up in my little whatever situation.

Kenrya: Yay.

Adriene: It was a really good time. And so, that's the kind of stuff we do. So, more of that for this year and just hopefully 2022 we'll get back with these live shows for real.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: All right.

Kenrya: And where can the people find you?

Adriene: So, you can find the Boonie Breakdown podcast on all podcast apps: Spotify, Soundcloud, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher. Anywhere because it's a gazillion of them and I'm not naming them all. But we have a good time over on Instagram, it's where I'm most active with the podcast, on Instagram. So, you can follow us on Instagram and Facebook @TheBoonieBreakdown and on Twitter just @BoonieBreakdown. But we have a good time on Instagram, so follow us there.

Kenrya: Yes. And I want to say that that is at T-H-E B-O-O-N-I-E B-R-E-A-K-D-O-W-N. So, go on and follow them.

Adriene: That sounds so long when you spell it out.

Kenrya: I know right. I realized it when I got halfway, like, "Shit, this is long."

Erica: "I got to keep going."

Kenrya: Thank you so much for coming on and talking to us today.

Adriene: Thank you for having me.

Erica: Thank you for being with us and being hella ratchet with us today.

Adriene: Yes. Thank you for having me.

Erica: Sprinkling your ratchet over here.

Kenrya: Just a little bit. Teeny tiny bit. This was fun. And thank all of y'all for listening, and we'll be back next week, take care.

Kenrya: This episode was produced by us, Kenrya and Erica, and edited by B'Lystic. The theme music is from Brazy. Hit subscribe right now on your favorite podcast app and at YouTube.com/TheTurnOnPodcast so you'll never miss an episode.

Erica: Then, follow us on Twitter @TheTurnOnPod and Instagram @TheTurnOnPodcast. And you can find links to books, transcripts, guest info, what's turning us on, and other fun stuff at TheTurnOnPodcast.com.

Kenrya: And don't forget to email us at [email protected] with your book recommendations, and your pressing sex and related questions.

Erica: And you can support the show by leaving us a five-star review, buying some merch, or becoming a patron of the show. Just head to TheTurnOnPodcast.com to make that happen.

Kenrya: Thanks for listening and we'll see you soon. Holla.

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SHOW NOTES
In this episode of The Turn On, Erica and Kenrya read "Brazilian Wax" from Jacqueline R. Hawkins' "The Erotic Tales: Love, Sex and Submission" and talk about having sex with unexpected people, what it really means to be old, waxing preferences and expectations, and getting naked with friends.

RESOURCES

• Story, "Brazilian Wax" from "The Erotic Tales: Love, Sex and Submission," by Jacqueline R. Hawkins | Payhip
  
• Author, Jacqueline R. Hawkins | Website | Twitter | Instagram 
• What's Turning Us On: Nipple and Clitoral Stimulator

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TRANSCRIPT
Kenrya: Come here. Get off.

[theme music]

Erica: Hey y'all, funky monkeys. Welcome to this week's episode of The Turn On. So this is your lovely host, your lovely hoe hosts, Erica and Killa. This week, we are reading a listener submitted story titled Brazilian Wack. Wack. “Brazilian Wax.”

Kenrya: Yes, that.

Erica: It was submitted by our lovely listener, Jacqueline Hawkins. It is in her anthology, "The Erotic Tales: Love, Sex and Submission." So sit back, relax, get your wine, get your weed, get whatever you need, and enjoy.

Kenrya: “Brazilian Wax” by Jacqueline R. Hawkins.

Kenrya: I woke up early Saturday morning to go to my wax appointment. The idea of not having to shave my pussy every few days was well worth the money. I've been going to the Beautiful Babe Salon for a few months now and I loved how my pussy looked and felt after it was over. The smoothness of my skin turned me on and when I play with myself, I'd imagined that it was my new aesthetician, Monica, who was rubbing my newly waxed pussy making me come all over her fingers. I get so wet thinking about her, but I was too shy to tell her that I wanted her to taste my sweetness.

Kenrya: Monica was a new employee of the salon having only started a few months before I started getting waxed there. The first time I met her, I was confused.

Kenrya: "Oh hey, this is Monica. She'll be taking over from Stacey from now on."

Kenrya: I later learned Stacy quit after she found a new job making twice the money she'd been making at Beautiful Babes. The first thing that I noticed about Monica was that she was a woman of color.

Kenrya: "Wow." I thought to myself, "Who would expect another sister out here in this ritzy ass salon?"

Kenrya: I was happy as well because even though Stacy was professional and made small talk with me, her reactions just seemed fake. I doubted that she was interested in me or my family. So when Monica came out, I was ecstatic to see a smiling brown face. Oh, and did I mention she was sexy too? She was curvy in all the right places under her purple scrubs.

Kenrya: "Hey, I'm Monica," she said extending her hand out the first time we met.

Kenrya: "Hey, I'm Jai," I said smiling at her.

Kenrya: Monica and I hit it off and I soon started to request her for all of my appointments. She made me feel at ease and was so familiar with the African American skin in general. I lay on a table naked from the waist down opened my legs, folding them out were like my feet were praying.

Kenrya: After my first wax, I laughed and said jokingly, "So now you're my bestie, ’cause you've seen all my goodies."

Kenrya: She laughed too and said, "I know right?"

Kenrya: After that first day, I had a crush on her. A few nights later, while lying naked in my bed, I started thinking about her. My pussy started to leak and my clit got engorged. I lay in my bed, rubbing my hardened clitoris, feeling the wetness all over my hands, but wishing that Monica was lying next to me and playing with my pussy. I came so hard and so fast. The idea of her mouth and fingers all over my smooth wet pussy was too much for me to handle. I'd fantasized about riding her pretty face and coming all over her lips.

Kenrya: A few weeks passed and once again, I was scheduled to get my Brazilian wax. I arrived at the salon later than normal having had to schedule my appointment after work. I walked in and signed in with the receptionist.

Kenrya: "Monica will be with you shortly," the young blonde woman said to me.

Kenrya: "Okay, thanks," I said looking up from my cell phone.

Kenrya: As I started to scroll through my Instagram feed, she walked out.

Kenrya: "Hey, girl, come on back," she said to me.

Kenrya: Before we walk through the doors into the back of the salon, the receptionist told Monica that she was going to leave for the day.

Kenrya: "She's your last customer. Can you just lock up when you finish?"

Kenrya: "Okay, no problem," she said finally rolling her eyes at the receptionist. "I swear she's always doing that stupid shit," she said as we walk into the room.

Kenrya: "What'd you say?" I asked her, dropping my purse on the table.

Kenrya: "That heffa always leaves early and asks me to lock this place up for her."

Kenrya: I laughed out loud because she was irritated.

Kenrya: "Yeah, I know. I still got you here right, Chica?" She said grinning and giving me a little wink.

Kenrya: I already knew the drill if I took off my skirt, my flats and my panties. I sat them on the chair and got up on the table.

Kenrya: "Hm. Cute panties," she said, looking over at me and noticing my Victoria's Secret.

Kenrya: "Thanks," I said and placed my hands on my lower belly.

Kenrya: Wow. She's noticing my panties now? I thought to myself.

Kenrya: We made small talk as she waxed me from front to back. I was already horny and the hot wax all over my pussy excited me even more. The closer she smoothed the hot wax near my clit, the more I could feel it swell and get harder and harder.

Kenrya: Shit, I thought. She's going to see it. Don't get excited now, please.

Kenrya: But with the heat of the wax, along with the slight pain made me hot and bothered. Monica immediately noticed how swollen my clit was.

Kenrya: "Hm. I see someone's excited," she said laughing a little.

Kenrya: I couldn't say anything because I was so embarrassed, so I just let out a nervous laugh, "Hm." I stammered.

Kenrya: "Hm. What?" She said, taking off one of her gloves.

Kenrya: She took the tip of one of her fingers on her right hand and ran it down the side of my clit, that actually made it stand out even more since the hair was gone from that area. She did it so quickly that I couldn't even process what was happening between us.

Kenrya: But I let out a quick moan, "Hm."

Kenrya: "So you like how I do that?" She says smirking.

Kenrya: "Hell yeah," I quickly said, not caring about being proper and pretending. "Yes. I like the way you do that. Can you do it again please?"

Kenrya: I finally had the nerve to look up in her eyes. She had a hungry look as she gazed down at me. She didn't say another word to me and she took the glove off and turned the lights down in the room.

Kenrya: "Open your legs for me. I want to see just how hard that little clit can get," she said in a husky voice.

Kenrya: She started rubbing my clit slowly, letting the wetness ease over her fingers. Slow then fast, she stroked my clit until I felt like I would explode.

Kenrya: I moaned softly as she worked me out. Right before I thought I would finally cum, she stopped and smoothly pulled my shirt over my head. She unhooked my bra, freeing my pierced nipples in the process.

Kenrya: "So your nipples pierced too, huh?"

Kenrya: "Yes," I say breathlessly looking into her eyes. "Why did you stop?" I said almost pleading with her.

Kenrya: My pussy felt as if it would explode from the inside out. I started to feel that telltale sign and I knew I was close to orgasming.

Kenrya: "Shh," she said as she pulled me up into a sitting position on the table.

Kenrya: Monica grabbed her stool and sat between my legs.

Kenrya: "Damn, all this pretty pussy in my face," she said as she opened my legs as wide as they would go.

Kenrya: She planted tiny kisses all over my mound, making sure not to touch my clit. I moaned even louder as she began to just lick and suck my pussy like she was eating a melting ice cream cone.

Kenrya: "Fuck," I said over and over as she expertly ate my pussy, sending shivers through my whole body. Monica seemed to know just when I was about to cum, and she stopped just when I was about to cum. Every time, I beg her not to stop.

Kenrya: "Oh. Please, baby, don't. I'm about to cum." I moan to her.

Kenrya: "Open your legs and touch your ankles," she told me. "Yeah, just like that. I want all that good pussy in my face."

Kenrya: Monica's lips were wet and glistening with my juices. She licked her lips slowly as she put her face back down between my legs. She alternated between licks and sucks until I felt that familiar sensation caused through my body. I began to lose control as the first of three orgasms rip through me back to back. But Monica never stopped licking and sucking. My body was in complete spasm. I couldn't hold back anymore as the last one came through, and I grabbed the back of her head and held her there not wanting to let this delicious feeling ever stop. My whole body was tingling as I collapsed back on the table.

Kenrya: Monica looked up at me licking her lips and smiling, "So this means you're coming back in four weeks, right?"

[theme music]

Erica: So we are back. Thank you, Killa, for a lovely reading. This one was a short story so we don't have to really give much background.

Kenrya: Yeah. I was going to say, y'all heard the whole thing.

Erica: Y'all heard the whole thing, the whole juicy, squirty, nasty thing.

Kenrya: From beginning to end.

Erica: So first, let's shout out Jacqueline. She is one of our listeners and she's been rocking with us for a while now.

Kenrya: Yeah, like super engaged on the social media. I think she asked on IG, like do we take user submissions? I was like, "Absolutely."

Erica: Fuck yeah. It makes our job easier.

Kenrya: Exactly.

Erica: So yeah, so thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Jacqueline, for shouting us out and sending us this information. So me saying shouting us out made me realize, "Bitch, we old." Like-

Kenrya: Yeah, but why did that make you realize that?

Erica: Kenrya had her birthday recently. We did one of those tribute things where everybody sends in videos. I realize that we use-

Kenrya: It’s the sweetest thing.

Erica: Old people ass words.

Kenrya: Yeah. I was cringing myself.

Erica: We were like, "Yeah. You bout it bout it."

Kenrya: Yes. Somebody said we was bosso. She said I was bosso, which is like an old school Delta term.

Erica: Even we not that old school.

Kenrya: Yeah, yeah.

Erica: Just stuff that we used. I'm like, "Yo, we old as fuck."

Kenrya: So today. I'm saying y'all old as fuck because I'm not in the video.

Erica: Birds of a feather, quack, quack, motherfucker.

Kenrya: Whatever, whatever, whatever.

Erica: So I'm driving my kid home from school today. He's telling me how his teacher plays Among Us with students in the class. I was like, "Is that game where people are sus?" You would have thought I had like, did a whole fucking stand up routine the way this kid laughed. Nigga, sus is a word. I use sus.

Kenrya: That's what I was about to say. They think that sus is ... I'm like, nigga, it's short for suspect. It's not a new word.

Erica: Yeah, like she looked me as sus. We used it before there was a fucking Among Us. It just made me mad. I'm like, "Bro. I ain't fucking old. I mean, I'm old. But I ain't that old." But it's just yeah, it's wild.

Kenrya: They just think that we're ancient. I don't remember ever really thinking that older people were old. I felt like I always had a pretty decent amount of perspective around what old really was.

Erica: Nigga, I didn't. I did not. I did not. Did fucking not. My mama was like old as crust.

Kenrya: You didn't.

Erica: By the time my mama was my age, my dad died at 40.

Kenrya: Yeah, yeah.

Erica: Nigga, do you know how much life I got ahead of me?

Kenrya: So yeah. Sorry about that.

Erica: You know how much life I got ahead of me?

Kenrya: I think maybe part of why old wasn't like ... Things didn't seem old to me. So my dad's the youngest of 15 kids. To me-

Erica: He was young.

Kenrya: He was young. Yeah, he's the baby. My dad's, he's gaining on his late 60s right now. I still don't really think of him as old. I had an auntie who died when I was in high school. We have the exact same birthday 50 years apart. I mean, I think of her as I guess, yeah, if she were still here, she would have turned 90 last week. So I guess I think of her.

Erica: Jesus Christ. Damn. That's a lot of kids.

Kenrya: Yeah, my family is fucking huge. My dad's best friend is his nephew. They are a year apart.

Erica: Well.

Kenrya: They grew up together.

Erica: Some things never change.

Kenrya: Yeah. All right, bitch. Move along.

Erica: Yeah, that's wild. No, no, in my mind, my mama was old as fuck.

Kenrya: Really?

Erica: Also, in my mind, that was like in black and white days. Color didn't exist until we were of age, which hurts me because last night my aunt was going through pictures and stuff. She sent me a picture of my first Howard boyfriend.

Kenrya: Oh wow.

Erica: We came to we both came to St. Louis to visit family. That was like ... So I saw the picture and I sent it to him. I'm like, "This shit looks like a fucking daguerreotype." Isn't that what they're like? Don't move.

Kenrya: Stand there real still. Yeah, yeah. With the long ass exposure.

Erica: This shit was blurred than a motherfucker. I'm like, yeah. Damn.

Kenrya: So technology has advanced a lot. I think about that sometimes. Okay. My kid thinks that black and white is just like, "What the fuck?" We were watching something. Mind you, when she was little, she used to watch black and white musicals because you gave her a whole bunch of them for her fourth birthday.

Erica: Yes. Problematic ass “Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.”

Kenrya: Yeah. Yeah, we only finished that one once. But we watched the some of the others several times. “Meet Me in St. Louis” has been watched several times. It's got its own issues, but it's really good.

Erica: It's a little problematic. But look, she will always see it and remember Auntie Munch.

Kenrya: Exactly. But so she thinks that black and white is just like, "Oh my God. The bitches is from the Stone Age." She also seems to think that we were born in the 1800s because she don't really get how numbers work. Yo, when she was like ...

Erica: Wait, wait.

Kenrya: She just knows it was before the 2000s. She don't fucking know. I remember when I when I was in my early 30s.

Erica: 1800s?

Kenrya: Yeah, she don't know. She don't have no real concept of time. She ain't got a concept of a fucking half an hour, let alone decades and centuries. She used to think it was the funniest thing though, she shady as hell. I remember I was 33. I would ask her or other people will ask her how old I was. She would say 43. I'll be like, "Nah, little nigga. I'm 33." She'd be like, "Yeah. 43." She just thought it was funny as hell. She knew. Exactly. Literally the Norbert Beebo situation all over again. But she was dead ass. This is how old you are and this is what I'm going to say. It doesn't matter that I'm a decade off because she don't care. It's all the same.

Erica: So when I was little, now that you're saying that, when I was younger, people are like, "How old is your mom?" 40. She was always 40. The day she died, she was 40 in my mind because I never bothered to keep up with it. I never bothered to keep up with it. How old's your mama? She's 40. She was 40 for like fucking 30 years. She had like a span before and after.

Kenrya: In which you were identifying her as 40. She probably wanted to beat yo ass.

Erica: Yeah, until she turned 41. She was like, "Wow. This alright."

Kenrya: Okay.

Erica: Okay. Enough of our old ass. This story. There's been lots of talk about like, "Do your partner like a bald vagina, a smooth vagina?" Actually my cancer group, we have had a lot of discussion about body hair because some of us are in the middle of chemo. Others have done chemo. The best thing about chemo was that I didn't have a lick of body hair. Like from here down, I was a fucking bear. No, no, I won't use it. It was smooth as a motherfucker. Is a motherfucker smooth?

Kenrya: I mean, if you say he is.

Erica: From my neck down.

Kenrya: From her chin. Yes.

Erica: It was smooth. Even my face was good because I'm a little fucking Ewok. Girl, when I started growing like that-

Kenrya: So even the random facial hairs were gone too, everything?

Erica: Not even random facial hair, that doesn't make you an Ewok. I have like a fucking layer of just ... I'm a little ball of fur. When I was trying to grow my hair back, all the cancer groups were just like, "Take biotin. Take biotin." Bitch, I had a fucking handlebar mustache. I'm going to tell you about that. I said, "Oh now, it just got too much." It was horrible. So I am thinking about laser hair removal, particularly for my puss because and it's not even for somebody else. It's just I want a shorn pussy. Right? But then I keep thinking about that scene in ... It's a movie. I don't remember what it is. They're at a winery and this woman was like, "I got laser hair removal on my puss. But now I'm going to be an 80-year-old woman with a billy goat tuft." I was like, "Do I want a billy goat tuft?" My home girl was like, "I got it all waxed, all lasered off."

Kenrya: Yeah, I don't like a bald situation. I don't like it. I like a-

Erica: Caesar.

Kenrya: So when I used to do ... No, not.

Erica: You like a high and tight.

Kenrya: I get ingrowns so I can't even like go low because low curls back in because that hair.

Erica: That's why I want ... Well, a Caesar is all one. It's not a buzz.

Kenrya: I mean, that's essentially what I do now because I finally bought like a little electric because bitch, I was using scissors. I almost cut my clit off. So I bought one of those, like a little Phillips razor rechargeable thing and it's awesome. I put the number three guard on and it does exactly what I want it to do. I'll send it to you, show you what it is.

Erica: No, no. Because I definitely ...

Kenrya: You think you have that one?

Erica: No, because when I was getting my hair cut regularly, it was two on the sides, three in the middle. That's what I was getting.

Kenrya: Because I only want it to a level because if it goes too low, I get ingrowns. But I started with sugaring back when I lived in New York and that hurt.

Erica: Nigga, no.

Kenrya: I know that now. But I didn't know at the time. One of our friends and I went to do it. I screamed so loud that they were like, "Listen either you going to stop or you we going to have are we going to have to stop altogether because you're scaring one of our linesisters."

Erica: Bitch, we got a ton.

Kenrya: This one. Wait. We on video now. Nobody going to know what that means. Anyway, we went to do that. So then I after a while, because I realized, "Okay, that shit hurts." Even though I learned how to prep eventually so that it didn't hurt so much. But then I started waxing when I moved out here and I found a great Black anesthetist? Is that the word?

Erica: Esthetician.

Kenrya: Esthetician.

Erica: You about to call this woman a damn-

Kenrya: A nurse anesthetist. I mix them up. Yes.

Erica: Same difference, same to you.

Kenrya: So yeah. So she's awesome but then COVID happened. I probably stopped before that. Who knows? But I don't care and I don't like it all the way down. Even when I was doing it, I like a little landing strip. I was like, "Be there." Once somebody accidentally bared, I was like, “Uh….”

Erica: I remember the first time I got a wax. I literally got on the Metro and was like this, I'm like y'all. Describe for the listeners.

Kenrya: You know you on video. Okay. It appears that she is peering into her leggings because I know you ain't got on real pants.

Erica: Bitch, I got on sweatpants. But yeah. I was wiggling like ... I rode like six stops like with my pants open like, looking like, "Damn, that's a pretty pussy." Yeah. So I like the look, I like the feel. That's why I want to do laser because with laser, if you don't have it, the hair grows back. But I am getting waxed soon before my Eat Pray Love Situation.

Kenrya: Birthday, yes.

Erica: I'm going to get a vagacial.

Kenrya: Vagacial? Is that a what's it like?

Erica: It's like a ...

Kenrya: I don't know.

Erica: Facial for your vag.

Kenrya: A rejuvenation situation? What do they do?

Erica: No, no. That's the Mona Lisa, which they talk about heavily in the breast cancer groups.

Kenrya: What is that?

Erica: I don't know the detail because I haven't been enough to look for it. But from what I understand, it helps with you puss. A lot of times women that have experienced breast cancer, because you're on all these like medicines and hormones, it's like an earring. You don't use it, that bitch close up with atrophy. So the Mona Lisa I know some women use because it make your pussy tight. Other women's just be like, "Look, make this motherfucker work." So from what I understand, it helps with having sex. I'm not doing that. I just want to get like a little facial down there. They say it helps keep everything soft and supple and keeps the ingrowns from coming back. Going into my Eat Pray Love Situation, I am all about luxury. I am all about Black girl luxury because I'm quitting my job soon. So this might be the last time I get to enjoy true luxury for a minute. So yeah. I will have the finest of things. But back to sugaring, bitch.

Kenrya: Yeah, I didn't know.

Erica: Sugaring is so brutal. Sugaring reminds me of when you find ... You know how I have a dog. I used to have dog when I was a kid and instead of a lint roller, we just take some packing tape and just pat your leg.

Kenrya: Like what you do when you ain't got a lint roller and you get the lint off your black pants very quick.

Erica: Exactly. That is what sugaring is, because it's not even like they like ...

Kenrya: It's taking silly putty and just putting it on and ripping it off over and over again. Yeah. I didn't know when I had never had any type of hair removal before that. I think I got like a coupon or maybe my homegirl, like she just wanted to do because she was in town. I was like, "Fuck it." I remember entering ...

Erica: Sorry. Wait. I knew that I needed to mute myself so y'all could-

Kenrya: Yeah. But you forgot.

Erica: I forgot y'all can see me burp. My bad, y'all. Okay.

Kenrya: That's okay. Everybody burps. So we went to do it. I mean, I learned later and the same thing goes for waxing, right? You want about a quarter of an inch. Anything longer, anything shorter you're setting yourself up. But I didn't know at the time and it was way too long. I thought I was going to die. I agree.

Erica: Yeah. My shit's a forest right now. You see the hair on my head? That's how long my shit is right now, which also shows it.

Kenrya: At least it grew back.

Erica: I mean, yeah. But I definitely would've been fine without.

Kenrya: You would've been fine. Yeah.

Erica: Bitch, the hair on my legs right now, so long.

Kenrya: See, you know me, I'm not super hairy. So I go, I think the last time I touched my legs was New Year's Eve.

Erica: Bitch, you could fucking do macrame with my shit right now. You could fucking do a hook and chain Afghanistan. All the shit's on my legs.

Kenrya: My God.

Erica: They're pretty fucking crazy. Okay. So there has been lots of discussion about whether or not partners enjoy a waxed puss or a shortened puss or whatever. I have heard from some men, no man that I've been with. I don't know what. But they're like, some men are just like ... Let me say I've heard from men, like saying it. Anyway. Some men that I've heard from is like, "I need a little hair down there to remind me that I'm not ..."

Kenrya: Yes. I too have to have heard that. Which yep ...

Erica: I'm like ... When you admit, you ain't going to ... Yeah. I know too much for what to do. You to be reminded about anything young. He was like, this grizzled pussy got some miles on it. She know what she doing.

Kenrya: I have never had a man say that they wanted one thing or another.

Erica: Nigga, you don't get to comment.

Kenrya: You know what, that's not true.

Erica: You don't get to comment.

Kenrya: There was one person who ... Damn, we really can't do codes no more because people can see us. Yeah, we do codes all the time when nobody can see us to tell each other who we talking about. I had one person who wants basically said that he didn't go down on me as often because he wanted there to be less hair there. I was like, "Okay. It ain't that good anyway. We all right."

Erica: Yeah. Yeah.

Kenrya: I kept right on with what the fuck I was doing which was when I felt like it.

Erica: You going to get the pussy that's served.

Kenrya: Exactly.

Erica: You're going to get the pussy that's served before you. You don't get the right to request.

Kenrya: I know. I don't say nothing about you. As long as you clean.

Erica: Now, here comes problematic ass Erica. Yeah. You can't have all that long furry.

Kenrya: You see what it is though?

Erica: That's me scraping a fucking hair off the back of my tongue.

Kenrya: Okay.

Erica: Keep that shit.

Kenrya: I tend to be with men who ... Well, now, I keep my trimmed down. I am courteous to the fact that you're going to have ...

Erica: That's just courtesy.

Kenrya: I expect the same.

Erica: My shit is not courteous right now.

Kenrya: I expect the same courtesy that I am extending. But also, I have been with lots of men who lift and all of that kind of stuff. They tend to be better about shaving everywhere. That's like a thing that goes with that hand in hand. It's with the key.

Erica: I never understood shaving the chest though.

Kenrya: In my past experience. Yeah, I don't care.

Erica: Have you ever gotten a shaven chest?

Kenrya: I have, yeah.

Erica: Shave their chest. I mean, I probably should shave my chest. I'm not that furry.

Kenrya: The only time it's even a little bit of a thing is when it's first starting to grow back, it can be a little stubbly. But you deal with it because by the time I'm up against the stubble, wow, there's a lot of other stuff going on. I don't care.

Erica: Yeah, yeah. I mean, well, let's be honest. If we're going to do a general overview of Erica's lovers, we have more on the ... I mean, less on the "I lift" side of the line than on the "I lift" side of the line.

Kenrya: That is true. Yes.

Erica: Actually as I think about it, the lovers that are on the "I lift" side of the line, they do. But the other ones, they got titties.

Kenrya: That's fine, say that out loud. You did say that out loud.

Erica: I love meat.

Kenrya: Nothing wrong with that either.

Erica: It was funny because I definitely had ... Okay. If you ask me, I say I don't have a type, all right. Everybody around me says I have. Then one of my girlfriends-

Kenrya: You 100% have a type.

Erica: One of my girlfriends from fucking sixth grade was like, "Yeah. We was at sixth grade. Erica was like, 'Oooo, I love some Gerald Levert."

Kenrya: You're consistent.

Erica: You're like a big old nigga that's got ... “What's up?” And I did. I was like, "Oh, damn. Did I?" Yeah.

Kenrya: You know I used to be in a choir. Every time you hear “Ain't No Stopping Us Now,” you text me and be like, "Bitch, you ruined my song." Because I was in this like ...

Erica: Which is why, wait, wasn't that what DMX was ... No. Was it DMX? Who was it? At the end of the Verzuz, somebody would-

Kenrya: It was ... Oh my God. It was Wu-Tang. So it was ...

Erica: Yeah.

Kenrya: I forget, it was someone that ...

Erica: Ghostface and ...

Kenrya: The little short one.

Erica: Yeah. Wait. Ghostface is the little short one.

Kenrya: Raekwon.

Erica: Yes, yeah.

Kenrya: Yes.

Erica: The little gummy bear. They was like doing that old grandpa. The grandpa-ass.

Kenrya: Yes, with a towel.

Erica: Yeah. I was just like, “Oh shit.” Here Kenrya go.

Kenrya: Yeah. I'm from Cleveland. This was sponsored by the radio station, WZAK.

Erica: 92.9.

Kenrya: 93.1. It was the Black station back then. I don't know what it is now because I haven't been home and I don't listen to the radio when I do go home. But I know we got some listeners in Cleveland, y'all, I'm talking about. They used to sponsor this choir and it was kids. We sang church songs. I think they called us an “inspirational choir.” So we traveled to churches all around the state. Yeah. Lots of Kirk Franklin, lots of “Ain't No Stopping Us Now.” So we would tour churches and we would sing there. And so I met a bunch of people actually in doing that. I forgot where I was going with this story, but whatever. Mike Tyson, we opened for Hammer once, we opened for Mase. We opened for Total, at Geauga Lake. We sang “The Star-Spangled Banner” at the circus. I mean, just literally anything that you ...

Erica: Y'all need kids? We got some.

Kenrya: Yeah. We would have our call time. We had all these different outfits. So they'd be like, “Red.” So all through Christmas, we had red. We had our red dresses. We had green dresses. We had black, we had white. Just depending on what the church was, if it was daytime, if it was nighttime. We was all over the place. I cannot remember why I started this story.

Erica: Me either. Well.

Kenrya: It was something about “Ain't No Stopping Us Now.” Then there was another song.

Erica: Ghostface. Rakewon, Rakewon the Chef, “Cherchez La Ghost”face.

Kenrya: I'm sure it will come. I'm sure it'll come back to me.

Erica: That song reminds me so much of freshman year. It comes-

Kenrya: “Tommy Mattola lives on the road. For what?” (singing).

Erica: So my group of homies in college, I'm letting you provide the soundtrack.

Kenrya: I don't remember. I don't know. You good.

Erica: No, you got it.

Kenrya: “He lost his-” (singing).

Erica: So my group, my crew freshman year was a chick from Oakland, a chick from Brooklyn, a chick from the Bronx, me from St. Louis, and a chick from Chicago. I'm probably missing somebody. But it was definitely West Coast, East Coast, Midwest. Did I have somebody from San Francisco and shit? I don't think so. But anyway, there are certain songs that I hear and I think about, looking at something, a chick from Detroit. So I think about looking at particular people in the club. That song, my friend from Oakland would get so hype and start crip walking to it. Then my girls, from fucking Brooklyn be like, "You can't fucking crip walk to that song. You can't crip walk to that song."

Kenrya: I mean, it literally makes no sense. How do you even crip walk to that song? It don't lend itself to it.

Erica: Crip walking was generous.

Kenrya: I'm sure you can crip walk to anything. Okay.

Erica: No. The idea that she was crip walking was generous. I mean, whatever, I whatever.

Kenrya: I used to only be able to crip walk to "Drop it Like it's Hot." If "Drop it Like it's Hot" came on and I had shots, I was crip walking.

Erica: No. “Xplosive.”

Kenrya: Also “Xplosive.”

Erica: Wait, wait.

Kenrya: That's not “Xplosive.” That's not it. That's not “Xplosive.”

Erica: Well, anyway. I can crip walk to specific songs.

Kenrya: “The Next Episode.” I don't know what it's called but it's what they say.

Erica: Yeah. Then in “The Next Episode.” Then they always go into “Xplosive.” The reds. Okay. So thinking about this story, this chick took a very, very vanilla situation. She went and left. She went and left.

Kenrya: Yeah. Something I would never ...

Erica: In the most ... Because here's the thing-

Kenrya: It's so businesslike when you're actually getting it done.

Erica: So that wasn't the lit, like her anthology. So we were like just flipping through. I think I was the one that first found, who was flipping through. I was like, "Brazilian Wax," I was like, "Oh shit." Turn on a bitch real quick. It made me question, and I think we asked this of our guests in the next episode but like, "Okay. Have you ever had a situation like that?" I was thinking as I prepared for this episode, at first, I was thinking, "No." Then I remembered I dated barbers.

Kenrya: You date barbers.

Erica: Only two. So one, it was the stereotype guy.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: But then I remember I was dating this one guy who was a barber. I was a little thot. I always used to tell my ex-husband, "Nigga, I became an adult in DC. So yeah." But yeah, there was this guy. He was a barber. He was at a particular shop, I'm not going to call it out because they didn't have many young people. So y'all know exactly who it was. Except he wasn't that young.

Kenrya: I was going to say, okay young.

Erica: But this was when I was living in the house.

Kenrya: Okay.

Erica: There was a barber shop nearby. Okay. It was so gross. So I went there, and I got my hair cut by this dude. He kind of kept like ...

Kenrya: Of course he did.

Erica: I mean, niggas are niggas, right? Erica is a nigga, right?

Kenrya: Yes.

Erica: If you're going to drop it, I might pick it up. So he kept dropping, and I was like, you know what, I will pick this up. So we ended up fucking in the barber shop.

Kenrya: Okay. That is very similar to this situation.

Erica: Yeah, but it was. Because it was like I had an evening appointment. Then he just kept dropping it. Then he cut my hair. I was like, "Oh. Well, I'll wait for you to clean up." Then he cleaned up. Then like ...

Kenrya: Did y'all go to the ...

Erica: In the front.

Kenrya: Isn't there a window?

Erica: Not that barbershop. Well, maybe you are thinking it. Not the one ... Goddammit okay. But anyway.

Kenrya: You were able to be concealed from the street.

Erica: We were able to conceal what was happening, because it was in the evening. The lights were out. But yeah.

Kenrya: Okay.

Erica: I definitely did that, I definitely did that.

Kenrya: Was it worth it? Did you enjoy it?

Erica: Bitch, I didn't remember until fucking less than 24 hours ago when I was trying to prepare for this show.

Kenrya: Okay. I mean, it served a purpose of ...

Erica: Yeah. I was like ... Yeah. But anyway, it definitely went left. Have you ever had any situations like that?

Kenrya: Mm-mm (negative).

Erica: I was thinking ...

Kenrya: I can't think of any. No. I mean, you know my history about as well as I do. I don't think so.

Erica: Okay, so you know how we talk about barbers. So what did they say were thot jobs?

Kenrya: Thot jobs.

Erica: Barbers. HVAC techs.

Kenrya: Barbers, DJs.

Erica: DJs. Y'all. Barbers, DJ, HVAC techs.

Kenrya: Promoters, club promoters.

Erica: Promoters be like swimming pussy.

Kenrya: That's the number one thot job.

Erica: Yeah, yeah.

Kenrya: Tattoo artists, word to my cousin.

Erica: Girl. What does it mean?

Kenrya: My cousin is an excellent tattoo artist.

Erica: Speaking of which, I got started my tattoo removal today. Nigga. That shit hurt.

Kenrya: You were there for so long. Yeah. Even with the numbing stuff?

Erica: Yeah. I knew I should've brought my own numbing cream or at least did it. But it was so fucking long. The entire time, I was like ... But it's on its way out.

Kenrya: Okay. Hopefully, it's just a few sessions and it'll be clear.

Erica: Yeah. I'm hoping. They say three at the minimum. But start talking.

Kenrya: Okay. Well, hopefully.

Erica: Okay. Yeah. Sorry.

Kenrya: It will be fast and the estimate of three would be accurate and you don't have to deal with that too much longer. You can pre-numb before you go?

Erica: Huh? What's that?

Kenrya: You can pre-numb now that you ...

Erica: I want to pre-numb before I go. Then also I'm wondering if I can ice myself because when you're doing it, they have a vacuum cleaner that it blows cold air on it while they're doing it. Yeah. It's like the equivalent when you're getting a wax and you go ... Then she slaps it.

Kenrya: Yeah, yeah. Okay.

Erica: So yeah. You what feel good ...

Kenrya: Can you bring that little portable fan thing that you have?

Erica: No, their shit's better, it's like ... Oh my. Okay. Waxing. I'm all over the place on this call. Waxing.

Kenrya: Okay.

Erica: Everyone thinks that the hardest part is between your booty cheeks. Right?

Kenrya: That's the easy part.

Erica: That's the easy part.

Kenrya: You don't even feel nothing at that point.

Erica: Flip over. Here, okay.

Kenrya: Yeah, that's the easy part.

Erica: That's the best part. Because you'd be coming out.

Kenrya: Yeah, it don't even feel like nothing. That's when you start talking.

Erica: Did I tell you I bought a home wax kit?

Kenrya: No. I was thinking of our friend who bought one. Maybe talk about that.

Erica: Amazon needs to stop allowing me to purchase things. Right?

Kenrya: We got at least two friends who tried that who said it was hell. Why did you do that?

Erica: Anyway, yes. I bought it. I feel like Amazon needs a parental purchase, a button that triggers if I'm going to order something, it should email you or somebody and be like ...

Kenrya: Do you approve?

Erica: Let someone with a cooler head decide it. Okay. So also, sex with unexpected people. Have you had sex with somebody that you had been like, that you didn't ... That you were like, "This would be nice." But then it happens. You were like, "Well, goddamn."

Kenrya: Okay. Not that. I've had sex with someone, who I had never ever thought about having sex with. Then it happened.

Erica: Was it a monster dick?

Kenrya: No.

Erica: Was it good sex?

Kenrya: It was fine, it was very fast.

Erica: You made that shit sound like it was a fucking peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Kenrya: No.

Erica: I mean, he had some protein and sugars in it.

Kenrya: You were there.

Erica: I was there?

Kenrya: It was a very drunken. Okay. So this is when I came. No. This was our lost weekend. Okay, okay. It was in a bathroom. It was a lot of people in various areas. Yeah, ended up being in the bathroom because there was somebody else in the bed.

Erica: Ah, the Easter situation. Now, I got this situation. And continue.

Kenrya: Yeah, no. Because I remember there was somebody else in the bed.

Erica: It was a lot happening, it was a lot happening. It's funny because this particular group of people that are always like, "Oh my God. I've never been to a sex club. I'd never ..." Bitch, I can tell you a weekend you were at a sex club.

Kenrya: What do you think that was?

Erica: Never.

Kenrya: Yeah, yeah. I walked in on all kinds of things. It was a night, it was a weekend.

Erica: It was a weekend. Oh. That was a bad weekend.

Kenrya: I mean, yeah. So the actual situation was very fast. It was the culmination of two very drunken days. I wasn’t expecting a lot, but it was like, this is how this has to end. We have to do this. We can't not do this. But it was also someone who I've known for years. It was fine. But you know what it was? It was like, oh, maybe we'll try this again when we're actually sober and want to take time and that kind of thing, but not like ... I don't know. The shortness of it was excused by everything that had come before is really all I can say. I didn't expect a lot.

Erica: I've had homies that were like homies. We definitely had sex on some overt homies. But we didn't become homies, I don't think either of us became homies with the intention of this is only sex. It would be just like we grew up with homies. Then we had sex. It was like ...

Kenrya: Yeah. That was that situation. I don't know that either of us thought it was going to necessarily turn into something more. I remember we talked after. We're like if we ever happen to be in the same city again, because neither of us lived in DC at the time. So it's like if we ...if we happen-

Erica: That was the wildest-

Kenrya: To be in the same city.

Erica: Fucking weekend ever.

Kenrya: Holy shit. We'll have to do a story time on that one time. Then the next time we saw each other, we were both married. So that was that. Yeah.

Erica: Wow.

Kenrya: So definitely came out of left field is not at all what I thought was going to happen that weekend. Then here we go.

Erica: What's crazy I like he was one of them pass around niggas.

Kenrya: Yes.

Erica: He was for the streets.

Kenrya: A whole lot of people that went that road. Yes, definitely for the streets.

Erica: He was for the streets. I mean, but hey. Not really for me.

Kenrya: Yeah. But I never had a situation like this with the ... Well, I'm past stranger situations. But those are like I made a determination of what I was going to do and then I ...

Erica: Do tell. You got a story for us?

Kenrya: I think I've already told those stories on the one night ... We did a one-night stand storytime. I already told those.

Erica: Yeah. Okay, okay.

Kenrya: Or some of them.

Erica: All right. Yeah. So yeah. Not that this is my MO, but it has happened enough with me. Remember you were telling about the guy in the Subway that was cute. Then I was like, "Don't tell me." Then we'd always be at that Subway and like, "Why we always get free food at this Subway?”

Kenrya: He was such a cutie patootie. Yeah. Then they closed that Subway. So that was that.

Erica: That was that. Damn. I can't fuck for a tuna sandwich. So horrible. Okay. I'm trying to think if I had like an unexpected. I mean, yeah, it's just been friendships where it was just like, "Oh, we ended up here." Again, I have no problem showing my puss, showing a titty. He didn't either. Then I was like, "Well, that's a nice looking finger. I wonder when that was on."

Kenrya: All right. It's funny. My partner and I were just having this. We've already talked about this, and I think he just forgot about one of the friends that I had sex with because ...

Erica: Was this like because he was watching your video?

Kenrya: No. Oh no, no. We never did that. It was because somebody called on my birthday. I had already told him that story, but I guess he forgot. So I had to tell that my story, because that's the one time I ever cheated. We should tell them our cheating stories. Yes. Not now. But on another episode. The one time I ever cheated.

Erica: I ain't trying to get you jacked up.

Kenrya: Well, anyway-

Erica: We all cheated, I cheated.

Kenrya: He had forgotten that that was the that was the person who I had cheated with, or whatever. But I never get that. I was very upfront about the fact that that was the situation that I did. I mean, it was what it was.

Erica: Yeah, I'm like ...

Kenrya: We'll do cheating on another episode.

Erica: But yes.

Kenrya: Because cheating doesn't factor in here.

Erica: So this makes me think of friends that we fuck and how like some guys are like women and men can't be friends because there's always a chance that you're going to fuck and that kind of thing. I get it because I definitely have guy friends that I fucked. The guy friends that I have fucked that I still keep around, it's not like we would get so wrapped up that was like ... So it was like, all right. We did it, we did it.

Kenrya: I think maybe some of that is because they don't know how to turn that off and we do. Maybe? You know what I mean?

Erica: You know what, it reminds me of what Akynos said when we were interviewing her and she was like,"You take different energy at different places." So like a gynecologist sees pussy all day, but he ain't going to take gyno energy into seeing his woman's pussy.

Kenrya: Exactly. Yeah, that's a really great “anagoly.”

Erica: “Anagoly.” Did you call it “anagoly”?

Kenrya: I was trying to just keep going and then your bitch ass had to point it out.

Erica: Because you never fuck it up. So I'm sorry. I'm usually the one like, "Is that a word?" Yes, Erica. It is a word.

Kenrya: It's a wonderful analogy. Because I remember when my friend and I were first having in the beginning, conversations about friends and exes and that kind of thing. He's like, "There are certain subjects that I literally never talk to women who I'm not in a relationship with." He was like, "Because I don't ever want the conversation to go left." He was like, "So I just don't put myself in those situations and then I don't have to worry about it because they don't cross the line, because I don't talk about those topics." I was like, alright.

Erica: Yeah. I don't trust a nigga that will come to me for relationship advice. One, nigga, I'm not the one to be coming to for relationship advice. Because I'd be like, "Have a threesome. Bring a friend in. Show her how much you love her." I'm the wrong person. So I know if you're trying to have like, "My girl won't do a thing." Nigga ...

Kenrya: Yeah, yeah. That explosion.

Erica: It'll be different if I knew I gave solid advice to relationships. Not that I give fucked up advice. But no. If you came to me like, hey, teach my wife how to suck some dick, great. You've got a fucking pro here. Right? But if you're trying chill, nigga. What the fuck I look like?

Kenrya: Yeah. Don't come to me complaining about ...

Erica: You're trying to tell me you got to a ... So yeah. Well, no, nigga. No, no. So I just try to ...

Kenrya: Well, it comes down to having healthy boundaries and not let a nigga let you suck you into their stuff, you know what I mean? So anyway, none of that anything to do with what happened.

Erica: Girl, how did we even get here? I'll get a new chair, y'all. Because I'm not getting here. Yeah. Well, long and short of the story, I like the waxed puss. Kenrya likes a Caesar.

Kenrya: No, I like one little line. But I'm not interested in the time or the effort or the pain that it takes to get there. So I only do it occasionally.

Erica: Okay. All right. Okay.

Kenrya: So yeah. I don't care enough to put myself through that on a regular basis, especially not during COVID. I'm good, but that's me.

Erica: I have a hell of eyebrows done, but definitely need the nails done. Okay. So do you have anything else to say about this story before we move onto ...

Kenrya: What's turning us on?

Erica: Jesus fucking Christ.

Kenrya: No. I did, I did.

Erica: Jumpin Jehosephat. Okay.

Kenrya: Girl, I didn't.

Erica: We're going to take a break and come back to ...

Kenrya: What's turning us on.

Erica: We'll be back.

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Erica: Okay, y'all. So this week's What's Turning Us On, first, I decided to bring ... Oh my. This is one of my bags that I keep, and I keep lots of things. Then what's there? Those are some condoms. This is my little travel massager, I got to pack sex toys for my Eat Pray Love.

Kenrya: Yes, you do.

Erica: Do you know what sex toy I am going to pack?

Kenrya: Bitch, what?

Erica: This one. So it's kind of the same concept as the rubber ducky except is not as loud. I don't think I charged it, so fuck.

Kenrya: That's okay, we don't need to hear. Well, we hear it now.

Erica: It's a cute little nipple and clit stimulator. It provides vibration. It provides suction. If you don't want a little rubber ducky around your house and you just need something that looks a little more adult, this is your friend. I used this the other night, and I was pissed because I had to change my sheets afterwards.

Kenrya: Why? Oh. Is that right? Well, done little pretty thing.

Erica: Y'all need this because this little puppy is fantastic. It's waterproof again. This little baby is going on my trip with, on my Eat Pray Love trip with me.

Kenrya: It's a decent size. That's silicone too, right?

Erica: Yeah. It's silicone, so water-based lubes, liquid only. See how big. I feel like I'm ...

Kenrya: On IG doing a makeup tutorial.

Erica: This is a color, this is a color. So this is a little nipple and clit stimulator, of course again.

Kenrya: I bet you could find some other places to use that too.

Erica: Oh, fuck, yes. Like a gooch?

Kenrya: Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Erica: So back up. Remember. You gooch! Yeah. Gooch. I'm always a fan of using a vibration when sucking dick. Like if you cup in the balls and you got a little vibrator, nothing too-

Kenrya: Yeah. Some people like it. Some people don't. But it's worth a shot. Yeah.

Erica: It can be too much because I have a little cock ring, a vibrating cock ring. There he is. There he is. So I have a vibrating cock ring. Most guys say they don't like them because it's too distracting.

Kenrya: Yeah. Well, I take it.

Erica: So I actually like the idea of this.

Kenrya: Yeah, some say it's distracting.

Erica: Just a little vibration because you can just go away, but ... I like the idea of this because you can just add a little bit and take it away a little bit, take it away. The equivalent of sprinkling some salt on it. Whereas this ...

Kenrya: Okay.

Erica: Okay, y'all. That wraps up this week's episode of The Turn On. This is Erica and Killa.

Kenrya: Yes. Making it clap.

Erica: Making it clap.

[theme music]

Kenrya: This episode was produced by us Kenrya and Erica and edited by Ballistic. The theme music is from Brazy. Hit Subscribe right now on your favorite podcast app and at Youtube.com/TheTurnOnPodcast so you'll never miss an episode.

Erica: Then follow us on Twitter @TheTurnOnPod and Instagram @TheTurnOnPodcast and you can find links to books, transcripts, guests info, what's turning us on and other fun stuff at the TurnOnPodcast.com.

Kenrya: Don't forget to email us at the [email protected] with your book recommendations and your pressing sex and related questions.

Erica: You can support the show by leaving us a five-star review, buying some merch or becoming a patron of the show. Just head to TurnOnPodcast.com to make that happen.

Kenrya: Thanks for listening and we'll see you soon. Holla.