Quickie 1 | Getting To Know You

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SHOW NOTES
In this bonus episode of The Turn On, Erica and Kenrya tell their friendship origin story and interview each another.
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TRANSCRIPT
Kenrya: Come here. Get off.

Erica: Okay y'all. Here's the deal. Here at The Turn On, we are finished with season one.

Kenrya: Ayyyee.

Erica: Ayyyee ayyyee. I'm doing that cool kid dance where you do like this.

Kenrya: Oh, okay.

Erica: So we're finished with season one. We're loading for season two but look, y'all: a bitch is tired. I'm motherfucking tired. So in the meantime, in between time, we're going to give you guys what we call a little quickie.

Kenrya: Yeah. We're not going to leave y'all out here.

Erica: We ain't going to leave y'all hanging with a dry dick or a dry pussy.

Kenrya: What's the non-gender version of that?

Erica: A dry area.

Kenrya: Ass? I mean everybody got a ass.

Erica: We only out with a dry bussy.

Kenrya: Yes.

Erica: Everybody got bussy right? So we aint gonna leave yall out here with a dry bussy. So we are recording and going to give to you guys each week a little quickie, which is a little-

Kenrya: A little taste.

Erica: A little taste of something to tide you over until we come back for season two.

Kenrya: When do we come back?

Erica: January first like motherfucker.

Kenrya: New year, new season.

Erica: Hey, I'm dancing. I'm sorry y'all. I've been drinking all morning long.

Kenrya: She really has. I am stone cold sober. We'll see how this goes.

Erica: Okay. So.

Kenrya: January 1, 2020.

Erica: January 1, 2020, we'll be back in this bitch.

Kenrya: With full episodes.

Erica: Full length episodes.

Kenrya: New books, new interviews. All that.

Erica: Lots of hot shit coming for you. Spitting hot fire.

Kenrya: I spits hot fire.

Erica: On this mike like Dylan, Dylan-

Kenrya: Dylan, Dylan.

Erica: Oh shit. All right, so for our first quickie. As y'all know, Kenrya and I are bottom bitches and I think it will be interesting for y'all to listen to us interview one another.

Kenrya: Yes. We didn't really tell y'all a lot about ourselves when we started the show I feel like.

Erica: Did we tell the Tae Bo tape story?

Kenrya: The who?

Erica: Tae Bo tape.

Kenrya: No, I don't think so.

Erica: Okay. So-

Kenrya: This is sidebar before we get into it.

Erica: Kenrya and I and someone else, you know who you are.

Kenrya: Hey, girl.

Erica: Shout out to you. We all went to school together, and we were all interested in a particular sorority and we see each other at programs and so we were like, you know what? I like you. We should be friends because we going to be linesisters.

Kenrya: That's not what happened. Somebody told us we needed to know each other.

Erica: I was trying to tell the sanitized story, but anyway. So-

Kenrya: That's not illegal.

Erica: We needed to be friends. We knew we needed to be friends because we was going to be linesisters. So they said, Hey, y'all need to be friends. So we were like, okay, how does any other young lady in 19-

Kenrya: No, it was 2000 something.

Erica: 2001 become friends with another young lady? You show up at her dorm room with a VHS tape.

Kenrya: Of Tae Bo.

Erica: Of Billy Blanks' Tae Bo so that you can work on your body for homecoming. So-

Kenrya: We was doing high kicks and punches.

Erica: It all started with a Tae Bo tape and the two of us plus another one who will always stay special in our hearts.

Kenrya: And we still together.

Erica: We still kicking it high. Back then it was for like strong abs. Now we kicking it half our dicks.

Kenrya: Dicks, right.

Erica: And pussies.

Erica: Okay. Sorry y'all, I'm like so drunk. Okay, so we're going to interview one another. If y'all have more questions that you'd like for us to answer, we'll probably do a round two of this, but these are the questions that we came up with.

Erica: So first question, Kenrya.

Kenrya: Yes.

Erica: So let me say, I came up with most of these questions-

Kenrya: Yeah, you did.

Erica: So they are very Erica questions. So Kenrya, if you were on a Real Housewives franchise, what would be your tagline?

Kenrya: Oh God. Okay. So remember when I did ... It's something that I actually say about myself because it's true. Okay. There's two.

Erica: Okay.

Kenrya: There's the totally appropriate for one of those shows and then there's the, Ooh, I read version. So the first one is I'm a Aries from Cleveland, what the fuck am I supposed to be scared of? Which is something that I say-

Erica: So true because I clearly remember nights in New York City where Kenrya has popped off. Kenrya's nickname is Killa Ken-

Kenrya: For a reason.

Erica: For a motherfucking reason. Okay.

Kenrya: Yeah, so that's accurate. That's something that I've said during many book signings when people have asked me dumb shit. And then I think the sanitized version, not sanitized, but the one that's on my intention board right now is a quote from Audre Lorde. It's I am deliberate and afraid of nothing.

Erica: I love it.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: Okay. So you say that, and I have two.

Kenrya: What was your- yes.

Erica: Both of mine come from the great guru Trina. The first one, and imagine me in a great flowing robe and then I flip around and toss my-

Kenrya: Got to toss our hair.

Erica: Non-existent hair and I look in the camera and I say, I'd probably fuck your daddy if your mammy wouldn't play a hating.

Kenrya: Oh, god. The accuracy. The fucking accuracy.

Erica: And then the next one, same situation. I flip around and I say 10 in the face, slim in the waist, fat in the ass. Do you want to taste?

Kenrya: Oh my God, bitch is coughing.

Erica: My bad.

Kenrya: It's all right. It was funny.

Erica: So yeah, my foundation is on the patron saint Trina. Her and Audre Lorde are the two-

Kenrya: Like the patron saints of the show.

Erica: Patron saints of The Turn On.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: So okay. Yeah.

Kenrya: That works. I'm going to ask you the next one.

Erica: Okay.

Kenrya: What does a perfect date look like for you?

Erica: Okay, so I enjoy experiences so, well first I enjoy food. So feed a bitch. We got to have good food, we got to have good drink. But then I want to do something so it could be like a concert or a hike. I mean, it don't really matter. I'd like-

Kenrya: Hike, bitch?

Erica: Yeah I would-

Kenrya: I mean, you do like doing-

Erica: Yeah, I like doing shit.

Kenrya: Like white women in Patagonia shit.

Erica: Yeah, but then I be out there blasting Trina out my backpack. Oh my god, this fucking bitch, she kept singing this song about like asses and pussies and juicy twats. That would be me. So yeah, it would have to include food, liquor, and activity, but not anything that jumbles my gut too much because I definitely-

Kenrya: Yeah, then it's all bad.

Erica: I am supposed to be staying away from dairy, but it would probably involve like dairy and liquor. So I need something that's going to not make too much of an emulsion.

Kenrya: Got to stay away from the cheese.

Erica: All this shit going on in my stomach.

Kenrya: Lordy.

Erica: But nonetheless it would have to be like wine, food, activity.

Kenrya: I like it.

Erica: You?

Kenrya: So I like to get a little dressed, you know. You saw me in shorts and a tee shirt the other day and you was like, bitch, I don't think I've ever seen you dressed like this.

Erica: Oh my God. She looked like a homeless woman. The thing is, it was some shit that like-

Kenrya: I was tired.

Erica: But it was some shit that normal people wear. It was like a family reunion tee shirt-

Kenrya: Mm-hmm (affirmative). And some like big huge gray shorts.

Erica: And some basketball shorts-

Kenrya: With a drawstring.

Erica: Which is literally my- I have a variation of that on right now. However for Kenrya, I was like this bitch is going through some shit and I need to have an intervention.

Kenrya: I took a nap on the couch. I was tired because we had just finished recording.

Erica: I didn't even know you owned family reunion shirts. I thought when they gave out family reunion shirts at your family reunion, you were like, you know what? No, I prefer a screen print holographic.

Kenrya: I literally keep them just to sleep in and only to sleep in when I'm by myself because I sleep naked when I have a partner in the bed.

Erica: Oh fancy.

Kenrya: I do.

Erica: Nasty.

Kenrya: So I wanted to go somewhere. It doesn't even have to be, you know I wear sequins in the daytime so I just like to dress. So part of it is being with somebody who is not intimidated by the fact that I'm probably going to have on a crop sequin crop top, which is something that I own.

Erica: Yeah.

Kenrya: And I also like to be comfortable. So something cute and flat that is not going to have me all fucked up. So I'm not thinking about going home.

Erica: Sequins, flats. Okay.

Kenrya: Yes. And I like to eat so I want to go somewhere where I can get something that's not meat that is delicious. And I have three quarters of a glass of champagne or a cider beer because you know more than that and a bitch is sleep. I just-

Erica: I'm bloated.

Kenrya: I can't drink no more.

Erica: But I'm still fucking.

Kenrya: Oh yeah no. Well you know, sometimes I fall asleep but whatever. Then I just wake up and fuck later. It's fine. That's another part of the date. I would like to have sex on this date if it goes well, then that's a part of that. And then it really varies. I like to switch it up so it could be a movie. I fucking love movies. Like across the board it's one of my favorite things to do with somebody who I know already. You can't really do movies with a new person because then y'all don't-

Erica: Yeah, I'm not a movie gal. I mean I do movies because that's-

Kenrya: You do movies when I forced you to go to movies with me.

Erica: What normal people do.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: Like I have this guy that I'm dating and I actually really like him and he loves movies and so we watch movies together.

Kenrya: Right.

Erica: And I do it for him. I mean most of the movies are good, but I'm just like-

Kenrya: It's not your natural, because I'm like-

Erica: We could be eating and playing Uno.

Kenrya: Looking every week. Yeah, what's coming out? What can we go see?

Erica: Yeah, exactly.

Kenrya: And if we're not out, then we're finding one in the house to watch. I like a good movie. But I've also had a lot of fun go-kart racing and what else have I done that was fun? Oh, doing them sip and paint things.

Erica: Oh, is this something new that you've learned that you'd like to do now that you're dating or is this a you knew that this was in you the whole time?

Kenrya: I mean, I think it kind of depended because when I was dating before I was married, it was New York so it was mostly going out to eat and walking around the city. Then I was with broke niggas so we was walking through the park, having a picnic, which is also fun. I just like doing shit. It don't really matter to me honestly. It's more about the person who I'm with-

Erica: The person you're with, yeah.

Kenrya: Because I could be literally sitting around in a robe watching fucking Mad Men and that's fun as hell. It's just that the person is not boring.

Erica: Okay.

Kenrya: So yeah, that's a long ass answer.

Erica: No, it's fine because I added a lot to your answer too. Okay.

Erica: So I always say, I'm going to tell you how I came up with this question. So I've dated like one white guy. I might have fucked a few white guys, but I believe that, you know how like I don't want to make sweeping stereotypes about races-

Kenrya: But you finna?

Erica: But yeah, I am about to. Just ignorance alert. So you know how if you go to the Olympics and you look at the Olympics and you see the last 10 years who's won gold medals in basketball, most of the people holding gold medals in basketball are probably black men, right?

Kenrya: Yeah. I think that's accurate.

Erica: If you went to the pussy eating Olympics and saw who held gold medals, most of the people would be white men.

Kenrya: Really? I've never had my pussy ate by a white person.

Erica: I'm sorry, y'all can't see me. I literally was like what? Yeah, I would think that most of the gold medal winners would be white man. I'm not saying that black men aren't good at it. Maybe it's the thing of access. Y'all didn't grow up with pussy eating pools in communities as a kid, but nonetheless yeah. White men, Olympic level. There are black men that definitely are the Simone Biles of pussy eating like woo, you really cut through the-

Kenrya: The chaff, the racism.

Erica: Yeah, I was about to say the chaff. You know I'm making up words. You really cut through the wheat. But yeah, white men. So if you were to go gold-

Kenrya: For a sexual act?

Erica: No, if you were to-

Kenrya: Because I got that one. That's dick sucking.

Kenrya: I'm fantastic at it.

Erica: So if the ordinary Olympics were held today. Ordinary Olympics, 2019-

Kenrya: Like not work stuff. Like shit around the house.

Erica: Just whatever. Like ordinary Olympics. What would you go gold in?

Kenrya: I don't know if it's not work. I'm a fucking workaholic.

Erica: Like, well what would you go gold in?

Kenrya: Listen, I can edit like nobody's motherfucking business. I make everything better that I touch.

Erica: If you have received anything via mail, text message, fucking carrier pigeon by Erica in the last, how long have you known me? 20 years?

Kenrya: Yeah, just about.

Erica: Motherfucker. Kenrya has edited it.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: Period point blank.

Kenrya: I'm fucking amazing at editing everything.

Erica: And she's good and she's quick.

Kenrya: Yeah, that's my shit. I was trying to think of a household task, but honestly I mean probably laundry because I stay doing laundry but then I don't fold it.

Erica: You don't like it. So no, you wouldn't go.

Kenrya: Yeah. Like right now my dryer has three loads of laundry, of stuff in it because it was on my bed.

Erica: I'd be silver in laundry.

Kenrya: Would you?

Erica: Yeah.

Kenrya: No, my shit's not folded. I just stuffed it back in the dryer so I.

Erica: If it was household Olympics, I'd definitely be the fucking Russia of gymnastics.

Kenrya: Yes, you would.

Erica: I'd be like high stakes.

Kenrya: That's real shit.

Erica: But just one event that I would be fucking gold in would just be in finding efficiencies. Like people come to me and be like, I have this problem. How can I make it easier-

Kenrya: Faster, more economical, all that.

Erica: Like how can I make this easier for me? How can I make it faster? How can I reduce the stress? And that's what I do. Finding efficiencies? Bitch, I go gold.

Kenrya: Yeah, real shit.

Erica: If you want to drill down, nigga, making a list or a fucking spreadsheet, a timeline. I'm fucking gold at that. Like I enjoy rigidity, which is probably why I like getting restraints and shit during sex.

Kenrya: Interesting.

Erica: Yeah. I enjoy rigidity.

Kenrya: Okay. I do not.

Erica: That's kind of gross. But no, I mean it's not gross.

Kenrya: No, it's not at all.

Erica: Okay. Your turn.

Kenrya: Sure. So what was your favorite food as a kid?

Erica: Looking back, I think my favorite food as a kid was my mama's fried pork chops because she bought them cheap ass thin ass pork chops.

Kenrya: You know I don't know nothing about pork chops.

Erica: Oh my God. And she'd just fucking bread them and fry them and for some reason I can taste that shit right now. Maybe because I haven't had it in a while and now I'm drinking and I might start crying because I'm in my feelings about missing my mama. But my mama's fried pork chops, it was just a random let me pull these motherfucking pork chops out and fry them. She bread them and just fucking sprinkle some Lawry's on it probably. It was probably some Murray's or whatever the St Louis ... What was it? Pete's Market, which is the equivalent of Murray's in St Louis.

Kenrya: I don't even know what Murray's is.

Erica: Because you ain't eat meat. Murray's was on H Street. I don't know if Murray's is still open, but it was this hood supermarket. But anyway, it was just my mama's pork chops. My mama's fried pork chops. They were so good. I did not know until I moved out here that people eat apple sauce with pork chops. I was like, that's some-

Kenrya: White people shit, yeah.

Erica: It was definitely some white people shit. We would have pork chops and Kraft macaroni and cheese and whatever canned vegetable was-

Kenrya: Canned vegetables.

Erica: Canned vegetable du jour.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: But my mama's fried pork chops. I don't even think that it was like if you asked me as a kid was that my favorite? I probably wouldn't have been like that was my favorite.

Kenrya: But in hindsight.

Erica: But in hindsight, whenever them fried pork chops came out, them was my motherfucking shit. What about you?

Kenrya: Mashed potatoes. I ain't got no story bitch. I just like mashed potatoes.

Erica: And that is all you need.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: A good carb.

Kenrya: So the next question is what's your favorite now? And honestly it's just carbs. I can't pick one. So you know I bake a lot. I've been trying to bake less because I eat it. But lemon cake, I got my grandmother's lemon cake recipe finally.

Erica: You lemon cake is good.

Kenrya: Yeah, lemon cake, lemon bars. I finally found a really good recipe for that. I like lemon.

Erica: Yeah.

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: Little sweet, little tart.

Kenrya: I make a-

Erica: That describes who you are in your yellow sweatshirt.

Kenrya: It's true. Yes, as I rock my crop sweatshirt. Ooh. And apple pies.

Erica: Bitch, your apple pie. Bitch, you aint make a apple pie last year.

Kenrya: I did make apple pie last year.

Erica: But now that we're closer I could actually get some.

Kenrya: Exactly. And I'm going to make a few of them so I'll make one for y'all.

Erica: Bitch don't make one for me. I'll just come upstairs and get some because I'm not going to eat-

Kenrya: Why not make it for your whole house?

Erica: They ain't going to eat it enough.

Kenrya: So you're going to eat it before they get to it [crosstalk 00:18:13].

Erica: Of the apple pie.

Kenrya: Yeah, carbs.

Erica: Right now I think my favorite food is homemade fried chicken.

Kenrya: So that you make?

Erica: Well it's something that somebody ...

Kenrya: It's got to be somebody-

Erica: Not Popeye's. Somebody's mama got some chicken, thawed it out, fried it. Well got some chicken, sprinkled some Lawry's, bread it in some regular-

Kenrya: And fried that shit hard.

Erica: I don't need that double battered dipped shit. No, just fucking fried chicken. And I think it goes back to the pork chops. It's just that I ain't trying to eat pork like that. I mean I fuck up some pork but I ain't really eating pork chops like that. But yeah, just some homemade fried chicken with some good ass hot sauce.

Kenrya: Okay. I like it.

Erica: I feel like every time I go out and I get fried chicken, I'm chasing like homemade fried chicken. It's like bitch, you should just fucking fry some chicken at home.

Kenrya: But I'm about to say is that ever as good as just-

Erica: No. And I should probably just be frying chicken at home but I shouldn't be frying chicken at the house.

Kenrya: How often do you, I almost said, because one of my favorites is-

Erica: I have a little Fry Daddy.

Kenrya: Oh yeah you do.

Erica: But who wants to fry chicken at home? Then you got fucking fried chicken grease.

Kenrya: I mean there's that. Like my kid requests fried fish and spaghetti because yeah-

Erica: Maybe we'll fry some fish this week. We going to put a pin in that. I'll fry some fish this week. You make some pasta, and we'll feed the kids.

Kenrya: All right.

Erica: All right. So when you were a kid, what seemed like the best thing about being an adult? When you were a kid, what was just like when I'm an adult, I'm going to do bam.

Kenrya: I mean, honestly I think it was just this general like I get to do whatever the fuck I want to do. The idea that somehow as an adult that you have not boundaries but like-

Erica: Can't nobody tell me nothing.

Kenrya: Can't nobody tell me shit. Yeah.

Erica: You know what? I think that's why them kids think that, Old Town Road.

Kenrya: That's exactly how they want to feel that way. And I think that that was what I thought adulthood was going to be. But I ain't realized-

Erica: 'Til Sallie Mae telling you what the fuck you're supposed to do.

Kenrya: Exactly.

Erica: 'Til your job tell you what the fuck you're supposed to do.

Kenrya: When you were a kid, you just had your guardians and your teachers telling you what to do. But now God damn, they just won't leave me alone.

Erica: That's why I enjoy the idea of being a submissive, like tell me what to do. So I ain't got to worry about nothing else.

Kenrya: I don't like people telling me what to do. It is one of my biggest peeves. So that and passive aggressiveness.

Erica: Okay. So take it a step further. What's your favorite thing about adulthood now that you're an adult?

Kenrya: Probably that I do what I want but I don't.

Erica: Okay. If you had to name one thing that's like, Oh this makes me feel like an adult. What would it be?

Kenrya: Probably leaving out of my house in the middle of the night to go fuck or ... being like I'm going to go do this right now at a time. Especially if I don't have my kids. So it really is there's no accountability. Like I just fucking go and if it's not with a stranger so I don't have to send my location to you so I can legitimately just leave on my own. And I ain't got to tell nobody where the fuck I'm going and I just go do it. And then it's dessert in the middle of the night or it's getting some head in the middle, whatever the fuck. I feel like those are the moments when I'm like, yeah, ain't nobody looking over my shoulder because I hate people looking over my shoulder. This is why I work at home.

Erica: True.

Kenrya: I'm not built for that.

Erica: Okay. So for me it is, I know it sounds so fucking simple, but I'd like cool air but I also like fresh air. So I will turn up the AC high as hell on my car and roll down the windows.

Kenrya: Yes, yes, yes, yes. That's another.

Erica: I'll take the top off and fucking have the AC be on. I be riding like, you know what mama? Suck it because I got the AC on and the windows down.

Kenrya: That's a great one. And I do that shit and I do, I feel like such a fucking autonomous adult. Then my music is always loud and ignorant.

Erica: Ignorant.

Kenrya: Yeah. It's a beautiful thing.

Erica: Okay, cool. All right. What you got for me?

Kenrya: Okay. Oh, okay. What is your favorite random fact about me?

Erica: Oh.

Kenrya: Right now I'm sitting here trying to think of what's my favorite random- Ooh, I got it.

Erica: Now here's the thing. Now I've been drinking, I might actually cry.

Kenrya: Mine ain't sweet.

Kenrya: Okay let me think of a sweet one.

Erica: No, don't even, don't even. No, the thing is, Kenrya is just like I look at you ... So let me just say, when I think about, and this goes back to therapy and all this shit, but I think about who I was as a dirty little kid and I think like I am living a fabulous fucking life. I am blessed to have the people in my life that I have in my life. And so I look at you as my best friend. I'm like, yo, this bitch, my best friend. She love me and I know all her shit. Like, and so I just think you are a dope ass person all around and I feel blessed for you to let me in on that.

Kenrya: Oh, that's actually a big deal because you know I don't fuck with most people.

Erica: What? Tosses hair. Gotcha, bitch.

Erica: No, but I mean I just feel really blessed to have the people in my life, but bigger than that, have you as my best friend. Because I sit back and think about the things you have done. I be bragging on you like I gave birth to you. And so it's just really fucking dope to have you in my life, but also for you to let me in your life. And so I'm just like, yo, this bitch is fucking amazing. I mean not even a random fact, but just the fact that you're an accomplished author. You've written so many books, like this bitch be on TV. I be sending clips to my family, like yo, when she was here, I was watching her daughter. I helped her pick out that shirt. So yeah, not necessarily a random fact, but just the fact that you have ... then knowing you so well and seeing where you've come from. Like it's just like yo, this is my bitch. Like this is my bitch. So yeah, that's my favorite random fact that you let me in.

Kenrya: That's very sweet.

Erica: Right?

Kenrya: Yeah.

Erica: So, okay. And now here comes Kenrya with some ignorance.

Kenrya: I know. My shit ain't sweet at all. But thank you. That's amazing. Erica is also dope. See, I felt like that nigga who shall not be named, but who likes the 45th president who has all the amazing quotes, and we can't use him anymore. I would like to say we dope and we do dope shit.

Erica: Yeah, but he's horrible.

Kenrya: But he's ruined everything. Fucking dude.

Kenrya: My random fact is that Erica don't fuck with birds.

Erica: I fucking hate birds. Yo I was out with a dude the other day. Told him this story how I was out. How I damn near broke up with a boyfriend in college because this motherfucker was letting the seagulls follow me on the Jersey shore. I'm like walking around with a fucking hamburger. Like get them the fuck away. He was like, yo, you're holding a hamburger and fucking seagulls are following you. That's what the fuck they do. I don't fuck with birds.

Kenrya: You don't fuck with birds. We took the kids to the beach, and they was hungry. She was like, y'all got to get in this tent.

Erica: Eat that shit quick as fuck. I'm trying to eat as fast as I can.

Kenrya: Them kids ate them damn sandwiches in like three minutes because she was scared of them damn seagulls.

Erica: I don't fuck with birds.

Kenrya: You don't, and you never have.

Erica: Fuck you.

Kenrya: And it is hilarious.

Erica: Okay, so this wraps up this episode-

Kenrya: Our first quickie.

Erica: Of quickies. Yay, yay, yay motherfuckers. Yay, yay, yay. So Erica and Kenrya, two hoes making it clap.

Erica: We hope you enjoyed this week's quickie. We're hard at work on season two of The Turn On, finding fantastic books to share and amazing experts to join us in the studio. And we're counting the days until we return on January 1st. In the meantime, keep hitting us up at [email protected] with your book recommendations and burning sex and related questions. And follow us on Twitter @TheTurnOnpod and Instagram @TheTurnOnPodcast so you don't miss a minute. And remember The Turn On is a part of the Frolic Podcast Network. You can find more podcasts you love at Frolic.media/podcast. Thanks for listening and we'll see you soon.